Saturday, December 6, 2014

Mom, you are grounded and have been replaced.

Its a lazy Saturday morning. Okay nothing is ever lazy in our house but our idea of lazy means light house keeping, grocery shopping, and final items for costumes to be purchased. None of these things is very much fun. I can get the minions to help me with the house keeping but the shopping I was rejected by all children until I said these fatal words....

"Okay if no one is coming with me all that house work needs to be done before you may play any video games."

C: I'm going with you.

Me: No. You can just stay home you didn't want to go in the first place its too late now.

C: You are still here so it is not too late. I'm going.

Me: No.

C: Mom, you're grounded until Christmas.

Me: Why?

C: You are making me do chores and you won't take me to the store with you!

Woo Hoo!

Me: Does that mean I have to say in my room all day and do nothing?!?!?!

C: There's still time to avoid being grounded!

Z: NO! It means you get to go grocery shopping!

After hanging around drinking my coffee and waiting for the boys to get most of their chores done Corbin comes back in the living room.

C: Mom. You've been replaced.

Feeling a little apprehensive, I asked the big question. "By whom?"

C: By Me.

Z: Corbin, you need an anatomy lesson.

I lost and took Corbin shopping with me. He is a great shopper and kept things on track the whole time. Crazy kid.

Removal of facial hair with duct tape..

"Hold your babies they grow up so fast." This is a quote I have heard from countless people over the years. It wasn't until today that I realized how true it is.

I got the boys back from their dads house and we were talking like we do about how their weekend was. I happened to look over at my sweet almost 14 year old's face and what do I see? Stubble. Blond stubble, but stubble none the less.

Me: Hey! (I reached over at the stop light and grabbed his face.) Is that stubble on your face?

Z: Yeah.... Why?

Me: Well I think maybe its time for you to learn how to shave then.

Z: Meh. Its been like this for a couple of months.

Me: What have you been doing about it?

Z: Ripping it out with duct tape.

Me: (Cringing on the inside knowing how badly that had to hurt.) Really? Are you nuts?!

Z: It was effective.

Me: Doesn't that hurt?

Z: Yeah, but that's why I got mustache duct tape. You know the one with the mustaches on it. Hee hee I've been waiting to use that pun for months!

Sigh. Guess its time to buy the boy a razor, though duct tape might be cheaper.

I then had to show him this YouTube video.....LOL

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

You all need showers!

I picked Zach and his friends up from instructor training tonight. Most Friday's I let my friend pick them up and just keep Zach. She lives closer and well by Friday night I am just tired of driving to karate.

Three sweaty, stinky teenage boys and the two little boys pile in the van and we start to head home. About 5 minutes into the trip I hear the littlest giggling and then the smell begins.

Me: Oh my word! That smell is awful! You will all take showers when we get home.

Kid 1: Um that happens to be Adams feet.

Me: Good lord child put your shoes back on now! It smells like something died in here!

Kid 1: He didn't have his shoes on at all he just took off his socks.

(Adam giggling like  a little fiend) Hee hee!

Me: Adam! Put your socks on! (At this point Zach and I have both rolled our windows down and he is leaning out the window like a dog. To be honest I wished I could too. My eyes were watering.)

Adam: Okay

The smell starts to dissipate. Then it begins again!

Adam! Put your socks on!

Kid 1: Its not Adam its Corbin this time!

Me: Corbin! Put your shoes back on!!!!

C: That was my left foot! HA HA HA HA!

Me: Put that shoe back on and don't take the right one off!!!!

Kid 1: Don't lick your feet.

Me: He is licking his foot! Gross you can get sick that way! Stop licking your feet!!!!

Z: You can't get sick that way.

Me: You have got to be kidding me! Yes you can!!!

Kid 1: Now he's just sniffing his feet!

Me: Stop sniffing your feet. They smell bad put YOUR SHOES ON!!!!!

Kid 1: You don't have to sniff me now! Gross don't do that!

Me: What now?

Kid 1: He just licked his hand and smacked me in the face with it.

Me: Okay Corbin, do not sniff your friends, and do NOT lick your hand and touch peoples faces! You could get them sick!

C: I can....Oh I'm sorry!

Me: Zach! Get your head back in the window its not...Gag that bad!

Here I thought the teenagers smelled bad.

Friday, November 14, 2014

They must be nocturnal.

My mom was discussing her trip to Spain with Corbin and Adam and giving them her schedule.

Mom: The people in Spain wake up so late in the morning! They don't get up till 9:00. They have breakfast then work for a while. Lunch is at 2 in the afternoon and then its sesta time for two hours they take a nap. They get up and work some more then have dinner at 9:00 pm and party till two in the morning! Then they wake up and do it all over again!

C: Wow! They must be nocturnal!

Mom: I think you're right Mr. C! They do kind of act nocturnal!

Love that boy!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Education does not end on the weekend in this house...LOL

The house is filled with some of our favorite characters again! They are playing all sorts of video games that I have no idea how they work. I know that I wouldn't let the little boys play TF2 until this week. Apparently the amount of watching of the game has made them evil masters. Corbin acted as one character and killed all the kids that have been playing for months. I call that a win for my sweet boy who doesn't usually win at this stuff. He even killed Zach bwa ha ha.

All these games and discussions and I keep hearing time to melee from Corbin!

Me: Corbin, do you know what that word means?

Corbin: Yeah to kill people with hand to hand combat!

Me: Really? You sure?

The echo from the other room of all the children that they were sure this was the meaning of the word.

Being the mom that I am I Googled it and started reading the definition to the boys:

Melee, generally refers to disorganized close combat in naval or armor battles fought at abnormally close range with little central control once it starts.

Its a French word that came about in the 1640-50's.

Zach: I don' that definition.

Me: I don't care and I don't like the definition that was the same definition are two separate issues. Nice try at the cover up though.

Whispered by another child in the room: Your mom does know that its the weekend right and schools out.

Z: Yeah she knows she just doesn't care.

Giggle. You got it baby! Know the meaning of the words you are using before you start using them. School is always in session in this house!

Sunday, November 2, 2014

I couldn't bare the thought!

Picked my mom up from the airport the other night. After not hearing from her since she left New York and headed to Spain. I am so glad she is home.

Diego and I played rock, paper, scissors to determine who would get to pick her up and who had to take Zach to karate. I won!

I took the little boys and we drove around the airport for about 25 minutes waiting for her plane to land and for her to get her luggage.

As we were driving her home she was telling us about her trip and all the interesting things she did while there.

C: Did you see any real live cuttlefish Grandmother?

G: Oh yes and they served them to us for (I start slicing my hand across my neck trying to indicate that if she went any further the wrath of Corbin would be on her hands.)

C: Oh Grandmother, (covering his eyes and head) I just can't even bare the idea that someone would eat such a gentle creature. How could you do that?

At this point I'm shaking with laughter and trying to avoid hitting the turtles on the side of the road.

G: Oh we didn't eat them Corbin. My friend and I told them we couldn't eat cuttlefish it would upset my grandson too much.

Under my breath I start teasing my mom, "Were they delicious, nutritious, taste just like chicken?"

Under my mom's breath "Shut up you little brat! We didn't eat them."

Me: Yeah right. (Tears were streaming down my face at this point.)

C: I'm so glad you didn't eat such a gentle flesh eating creature. (I think maybe gentle might be a little off for the fish kingdom.)

I am now wondering what will happen when I get him to eat calamari.....Bwa ha ha.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

He's Evil!

We got to theater early the other day. While the kids were waiting for their class to begin they were interacting with another little boy who had gotten to the theater early too. Adam was reluctant to get involved with the boy because the boys guardian kept telling him to sit down.

Little Boy: (Pointing at Adam and trying to get his attention) He doesn't like me! (giggle) He's evil!!!! (more giggling)

Adam turns to me with an eyebrow raised, a glint in his eyes, and a smirk on his face says "Maybe."

Me: Really?

A: Well not as evil as Zach but I'm working on it.

God save me!

Then of course he picks the "Emperor of Evil" costume for Halloween.
Good thing he's cute.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

How did you lose a shoe that was on your foot? (not about the kids)

I normally blog about my children and the things I say to them or the things they do that make me wonder if I am a good mom or not. Not today. Today I am going to tell you about the phone call I received.

My mother called the other day. I was waiting for her call since I dropped her at the airport at o'I don't like to get up at this hour thirty.

Me: Hello!

Mom: Hi we are here!

Me: That's great! How were your flights?

Mom: They were fine until I lost my shoe.

Me: The shoes you carried in or the ones you wore on your feet?

Mom: The ones on my feet. Don't ask oh and I talked my friend out of buying a cheese head in Wisconsin.

Me: I am going to regret asking the following but a. how do you lose a shoe in the airport that was on your foot and b. who buys a cheese head in the first place?

Mom's friend pipes up in the background: I do! For my grand kids but your mom said no(in a whiny I didn't get my way voice.)

Me: Well you stopped certain disaster there.

Mom: Yeah I thought so too. So, I took my shoes off because my other shoes were getting to heavy to carry. I put the other shoes on and seemed to have left a shoe on the plane.

Me: Are you going to buy new shoes in New York? (God save New York the evil twins are there together!)

Mom: No! Its cold here I need the ones I have on.

Me: Well you might just chuck the extra shoe then.

Mom: I'm thinking about it.  Okay I'm going to call your brother now!

Me: You might want to not tell him about the shoe.

Mom: Bah!

Well as Zach says the genetics are strong in our family. Maybe I should just apologize to my children now for being a total nut later....Or the maybe for being one now....Choices, choices.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Fun family facts I learn driving with my grandmother. Evil is in our genetics.

Driving home from the bank the other day with my grandmother.

G: Go exactly 35 on this road please.

Me: Okay.....

G: Did I ever tell you that I learned how to drive in San Francisco?

Me: No.

G: Yes, I used to go up to the city to practice my driving because the speed limit was 25 miles per hour. So I could drive 25 and not get in trouble. It ticked a lot of taxi cab drivers off, but I enjoyed that.

Me: You're funny. (I have wondered a time or two where I get my humor from. I wonder no longer.)

G: So here on this road it is 35 miles an hour and they can't do anything about me doing the speed limit. It tickles me to upset so many people just because I am following the laws.

Later in the week we went to San Francisco to take my grandmother to see the premier of "Class Dismissed". (My aunt is in the documentary.) I'll be darned it the speed limit isn't still 25.

G: Don't drive too fast now. Diego did Ari tell you how I learned to drive?

D: No.

So she told him we all got a good giggle.

This morning I am relaying the whole story to my sister in law.

Me: So T, I finally figured out where the evil in our family comes from.

T: Where? Pop?

Me: No! G! She is so bad and evil it must be in our genetics!

Adam:'re evil!

Me: Again I say it's genetics! Apparently it has already been passed down.

Adam: Sorry mom, you aren't evil. I love you.


Diego overhearing this story looks over at me and says "he's sorry but he does think you're evil."


Monday, October 13, 2014

Mom...Can we water the plants?

The children asked to water the plants.....
 They got the watering can and went to work......
 At first glimpse they are so cute watering the plants together......
 Then starting to look not so cute. More like push watering to me.....
 And a little more push watering.
 Okay! Stop watering your brother!
 Okay! I'll water myself!
 And the patio.

I'm not sure the plants really got a whole lot of water....

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Save me from plotting teenagers.....

I love my teenager. He is still in his early teens and has a wicked sense of humor. Tonight was one of those nights I came home with him looked at Diego and said "this child is evil."

D: Why? (In a tone that said really lady? Get a grip.)

Me: On the car ride home we were discussing how some teens and how they end up rebelling.

D: Okay so how is he evil again?

Me: This child says to me "I don't know why these teens don't plot their rebellions better."

Z: Yeah I mean really, why don't they figure out all their parents buttons and push them systematically. Much more effective then rebelling and getting in trouble not just from your parents but from society.

Me: See!!!! Evil!!!!

D: Wonder where he gets that from.

Me: Shut up.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Things that happen when I'm away.

The little boys were cleaning up the backyard to remove their check marks. (Check marks occur when the children are so out of control they need a reminder that they are human beings not monsters.)

Corbin was putting salt in the pool and Adam was picking up sticks and trash. When they were done they were just hanging out in the yard.

Me: I don't care if they really did anything. They are outside playing and not inside telling me they have nothing to do and Adam picked up the trash and the sticks.

D: Yeah that's fine. Corbin is the stick monster. He is always going around to the back picking up sticks and strewing them all over the yard. At least I got him to stop eating them.

I just looked at him.

D: That's right I just said that.

Me: You know what happens now right?

D: Enjoy writing.

This is what happens when I'm not around. Big changes....Like not eating sticks.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

How to cope when the kids are gone for extended periods of time.

As some of you might know this week my children are on an extended vacation with their father. Not as bad as last year 9 days but 4 days is still a significant amount of time. I home school, work 2 or 3 different jobs depending on the day and try to keep my house half way decent...(I said half way.) Today marked day 3 without children. Day 3 of having about half a day to do stuff I don't normally get to do. 

I got up went to work and got home before Diego. I had time on my hands. When I arrived home there were 4 packages on my porch. Oh goodie! More curriculum and work!  Nope, I got a pencil sharpener, and one book. The rest? Was for Diego. Hummm. As I'm opening the boxes talking with my mother tell her all about his new treasures she suggests I make him go on a treasure hunt for them.  "Okay, if I'm going to hide his treasures before he gets home I gotta go!" 

Mom: Have fun!  

This is what Diego came home to. 

He found the second package first due to my thinking I was filling the pool and actually filling the lawn with water...Whoops! It took him a bit longer to find the game. I should have hid it better and given less clues! Or maybe not since I can blog this without interruptions!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

IRS Scammers beware!

I received an interesting text from a client and one of my dearest friends the other afternoon. It was following on a group text her brother sent to both of us "I'm literally my own best friend. I have inside jokes with myself, and sometimes I'll start laughing out loud at how funny I am."

"That is what I am telling myself after I spoke with the fake IRS agent today and he told me "And Now! I hang up in your face!""

Me:  WHAT?  What IRS call?

"I'll call you."

A few minutes later I got the giggle I so desperately  needed for the day.

Friend: Here's what happened this morning. I got a recorded phone message from the "IRS". The message stated that I needed to pay $4000.00 in the next 24 hours or they were going to put a lien on my accounts and properties.

Me: WHAT!?!?!? Did you get a notice? That's not how the IRS works.

F: Don't freak out. I know you do all my taxes and I know that I didn't receive any notices.

Me: Remember the IRS NEVER makes phone calls!  I mean unless you contact them or respond to one of their letters the will NOT call you!!!

F; Right, so I called the IRS just to make sure that everything was okay. I gave them the phone number the message gave me and told them what the message said and they confirmed that it was a scam.

Me: Oh good I'm glad.

F: Yes but you know I couldn't just let it go.

Me: What did you do?

F: I called the scammers. I told them what they were doing was illegal. They called me a liar and a cheater! You could tell that English was not their first language. I told him after all that that I would be calling him back. He said "yeah right" little did he know he would be dealing with me every time I had a break from work.

Me: You did not.

F; Yes I did. I spoke with a Mr. Brian Walker at least 11 times and another guy once and twice I couldn't get through.

Me: You called them 15 times?

F: Yup.

Me: What did you say?

F: I kept telling them what they were doing was wrong. The guy finally asked why I kept calling and I told him that the longer I was on the phone with them the less likely he was going to scam someone else. In another call I gave them a fake name and they couldn't find me in the system but he was like we will still take your money "where are you?". I told him I was at Starbucks and he told me to go to the nearest Safeway and he would give me more instructions from there. I replied with "I won't be doing that since you aren't the IRS and I am not in your system and you were still willing to take my money!" He started with the insults again and then he threatened to call the police and have me arrested and disconnected the call.

Me: Good thing you didn't give him your real name.

F: Yeah cause my husband would have so loved a visit from the police. They have my name, home address and the last four digits of my social. They could have made things very difficult for me if they had had my real name. I was calling from the bank lines at work so if they call back they would have gotten our receptionist which wouldn't have given them much to go on to figure out who was calling them.

Me: You are so funny! That group totally deserves your phone calls!

F: Wait, I called them back again and this time I got another guy who told me I was wasting their time and why did I keep calling. I replied in the same manner as before, you guys are a scam and I am keeping other people from getting hurt by calling you. To which he replied "You need to stop calling me! It is so rude! You know what happens to people like you? I hang up in your face!!!!" and he hung up. So that's what that feels like.

Me: Seriously?  Oh my! (giggling loudly enough for the boys to question my sanity and what I was laughing at.)

F: I called him back to tell him hanging up on people was rude and guess what?  The phone number was disconnected!  Apparently they couldn't take my harassing phone calls!  Win for me for the day, I annoyed a scammer so bad they yelled at me to stop calling them and had to disconnect their number.

Note to self never mess with my friend.

I received the following text this morning:

That IRS scam phone number is still "out of service." Guess they moved on. Too bad - I was really looking forward to my calls with Brian Walker today.

And now I hang up in your face!!!

As a side note please remember the IRS does not just make random demands for money by phone. If you do receive a threatening phone call please refer to the IRS website to make sure you are actually calling an IRS number.

IRS Reiterates Warning of Pervasive Telephone Scam

IR-2014-53, April 14, 2014
WASHINGTON — As the 2014 filing season nears an end, the Internal Revenue Service today issued another strong warning for consumers to guard against sophisticated and aggressive phone scams targeting taxpayers, including recent immigrants, as reported incidents of this crime continue to rise nationwide. These scams won’t likely end with the filing season so the IRS urges everyone to remain on guard.
The IRS will always send taxpayers a written notification of any tax due via the U.S. mail. The IRS never asks for credit card, debit card or prepaid card information over the telephone. For more information or to report a scam, go to and type "scam" in the search box.
People have reported a particularly aggressive phone scam in the last several months. Immigrants are frequently targeted. Potential victims are threatened with deportation, arrest, having their utilities shut off, or having their driver’s licenses revoked. Callers are frequently insulting or hostile - apparently to scare their potential victims.
Potential victims may be told they are entitled to big refunds, or that they owe money that must be paid immediately to the IRS. When unsuccessful the first time, sometimes phone scammers call back trying a new strategy.
Other characteristics of this scam include:
  • Scammers use fake names and IRS badge numbers. They generally use common names and surnames to identify themselves.
  • Scammers may be able to recite the last four digits of a victim’s Social Security number.
  • Scammers spoof the IRS toll-free number on caller ID to make it appear that it’s the IRS calling.
  • Scammers sometimes send bogus IRS emails to some victims to support their bogus calls.
  • Victims hear background noise of other calls being conducted to mimic a call site.
  • After threatening victims with jail time or driver’s license revocation, scammers hang up and others soon call back pretending to be from the local police or DMV, and the caller ID supports their claim.
If you get a phone call from someone claiming to be from the IRS, here’s what you should do:
  • If you know you owe taxes or you think you might owe taxes, call the IRS at 1.800.829.1040. The IRS employees at that line can help you with a payment issue, if there really is such an issue.
  • If you know you don’t owe taxes or have no reason to think that you owe any taxes (for example, you’ve never received a bill or the caller made some bogus threats as described above), then call and report the incident to the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration at 1.800.366.4484.
  • You can file a complaint using the FTC Complaint Assistant; choose “Other” and then “Imposter Scams.” If the complaint involves someone impersonating the IRS, include the words “IRS Telephone Scam” in the notes.
Taxpayers should be aware that there are other unrelated scams (such as a lottery sweepstakes) and solicitations (such as debt relief) that fraudulently claim to be from the IRS.
The IRS encourages taxpayers to be vigilant against phone and email scams that use the IRS as a lure. The IRS does not initiate contact with taxpayers by email to request personal or financial information. This includes any type of electronic communication, such as text messages and social media channels. The IRS also does not ask for PINs, passwords or similar confidential access information for credit card, bank or other financial accounts. Recipients should not open any attachments or click on any links contained in the message. Instead, forward the e-mail to
More information on how to report phishing scams involving the IRS is available on the genuine IRS website,
You can reblog the IRS tax scam alert via Tumblr.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Theater Fun!

The boys had another successful show at theater. They have so much fun hanging out with the kids at theater and being in the shows I am very grateful to all those that have kept the local children s theater alive. My sweet cousin came to watch the last show and sent her mother a text thanking her for attending all the shows she put on as a child. (You would think this wasn't Broadway!) After the shows were all finished I had a few habits I would like to have handled before the next show for my middle child but after I had a conversation with one of the directors I will be grateful that some habits are behind us...For now.

Director: Corbin came up to me and pointed to the television and said "Did you see that? I am on T.V.!" It was really cute.

Me: He's so silly! He really has come a long way!

D: Yeah he doesn't grab my boobs anymore that's really an improvement!

I lost it. Yes my middle man had a thing for grabbing particular women on their chests. Not all women, just the extra special ones....GA!!!!!! Fortunately Diego has broken him of this habit.

Me: Now if we could get him to stop grabbing himself on stage that would be good.

D: But then what would we have to entertain us?

Me: With my three boys? I'm sure there will be something!

D: True.

Do not play with swords when you are supposed to be in bed!!!

I put my children to bed at a decent hour most nights. I assume like I'm sure countless other parents are sure when they put their children to bed that they go to bed or at least lay there and listen to their iPods, read books, or whine for more water.

This morning I discovered that my oldest child has not been doing any of these things. No. He has been practicing his karate. Specifically his new sword kata.

Z: Oh yeah mom...Look.

He shows me his thumb, it has a rather decent slash through it.

Me: Okay, how did you manage that one?

Z: I was practicing my sword kata last night and forgot to remove my thumb before I took it out of its sheath.

Me: That thing has never been sharpened. 

Z: Yeah if it had been I would have lost my whole thumb. 

Me: Sigh, okay so what did you do after you tried to cut your thumb off?

Z: Went in the kitchen, cleaned my battle wound, and put some super glue on it.

Me: Great, so maybe the lesson here is this, DO NOT practice sword kata's when you are tired, supposed to be in bed, and not paying attention.

Z: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. 

I sent this story to my friend who reminded me "Dull swords/knives are always more dangerous than sharp ones. Don't you know that?

Me: How about unsharpened blunt swords?

"With your kids I'd believe almost anything."

Me: Yup. That's sad.

"I prefer the term entertaining."

Thursday, August 14, 2014


Driving the kids to one of their many activities the other morning, low and behold a squirrel ran out in front my car. At the same time the suicidal squirrel was running my children were bickering about some Pokemon nonsense and I was done with the bickering so I did what any good mother hoping to inspire a distraction in her children would do. I yelled SQUIRREL!!!!!!

Corbin: Where?!?!? I don't see it! (Ah sweet success!)

From the sweet mouth of my baby boy comes a very matter of the fact tone and statement: Under the car. Dead.

Me: No, it got away.

C: It dodged the car?

Me: Yup!

C: He has excellent squirrel skills!

Under his breath the teenager mumbles..."No points for you mom."

I think my dark side genetics are strong in the oldest and youngest children.....My dear friend said "It was bound to be strong with one of them."

Monday, July 28, 2014

My car holds many surprises.....

I the kids and my car back from their dad the other day and found this little interesting little tidbit. At first glace since it was hot and all the contents were melted and yellow I was disgusted and wonder why someone would leave their pee cup in my car.

This was my next look.....
Awwww Man!  What in the world!  Is this I ask my 13 year old.
Z: I don't know....Butter?
Z: Look at the other side.
I'm not sure this makes it any better.
Z: No not really.
Z: We went to the fair and the little boys picked it up and took it home.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

I'm Old

I celebrated our 20th high school reunion! With 14 of my fellow classmates.  I know that seems like nothing for some high schools but ours was a class of 86 girls. So 14 is a huge turn out!

We stayed till about 10 pm then to appease and reward the husband types we took them to Dave and Busters for a bit of video gaming. I walked in looked at  my dear friend and said I'm too old for this. Maybe I just haven't been around the up and coming younger crowd but really? It was too loud, the skirts and shorts girls were wearing were non-existent, and I was yawning by 10:30.

By 12:45 I had seen a woman attack her boyfriend to the point I wanted to tell them to get a room and I could barely keep my eyes open. Really? It wasn't that long ago that I worked all night long to make it through tax season. By the time we got home at 3:00 I was no longer wondering when I got old I was just looking forward to getting in bed and sleeping. I slept in longer than I have slept since BC (before children) it was 10:30! Just like a teenager! Maybe I'm not that old!

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Camp wrap up.

The rest of music and drama camp was relatively uneventful and overall fun. Corbin made it through at least 4 more Frozen songs without running out of the sanctuary screaming and holding his ears. The production on Sunday went off without too many hiccups. Either there was very little that was funny or I have lost my sense of humor. I'm pretty sure I will go looking for it in the next few days as I will need it to get through the rest of the month.

The teenagers have proven to me that there is humor everywhere you just need to look...Sometimes at hairy options.

Teen 1: You could cut your hair and donate it to charity.

Teen 2: Too bad that doesn't work with arm pit hair. Could you see that people being implanted with armpit hair on their heads. Maybe it would grow better.

At this point I turned the music up due to the deterioration of the conversation.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Music and Drama Camp Day 2. Desensitization day and the claw returns.

Day 2....

The request for the return of the claw was made by one of my favorite teen coaches. This morning I asked Zach to go get the claw and he about jumped out of the car to grab it from my office.

Me: Wow I really have twisted some children.

Z: Well I'm genetically yours so it was bound to happen. The rest of the kids well maybe they were just predisposed to your influence.

Camp was another almost drama free day. It was drama free for most of the children except for my own. Mine had to have a complete freak out session when they played "Let It Go" from the Frozen movie. Really?! Let it go kid!

My other two children are enjoying torturing Mr. C with their own renditions of "Let It Go". Zach downloaded the song on Spotify and put it on repeat in the car while we were waiting for A to get out of therapy. Now, we are watching Frozen. Suddenly, Corbin is no longer freaking out. Maybe we will make it through tomorrow without a freak out session. Here's hoping! (And here's hoping I don't lose my ever loving mind before the end of the day due to this stupid movie! I hope we only have to watch it once today.)

Monday, July 7, 2014

Music and Drama Camp Year...9 Day 1

Today marks the first day of year nine for us participating in Music and Drama camp. We weren't sure about participating this year since we thought that we were going to be out of town but here we are. Unfortunately and fortunately nothing exciting happened today.

I have either lost my sense of humor, the children aren't giving me any material to work with, or I'm just tired. Hopefully its not the first item and the children give me something to work with tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Regression of a 13 year old...

Walking someone to the door this afternoon I notice someone has drawn a smiley face on the security door. It is too high for the youngest child in the house and almost too high for the middle child, whom I would expect to draw on the walls. No it was neither of them. My 13 year old tagged my door.

Me: Why?

Z:  (In typical Corbin response) I don't know.

Me: How old are you?

Z:  Twelve.

Me: You couldn't have gotten away with it at twelve either.

Z: I did it when I was two and colored the walls, then again when I colored the carpet when I was five, the window sill when I was ten, so why not the door when I'm 13.

Me: Because now you are being a juvenile delinquent and tagging not just coloring things. And guess what you get to do now?  Oh!  Its gonna be fun!!!

Z: (Sullen, sarcastic teenage voice) Whaaatt?

Me: Now you get to clean it off.

After he cleaned it he came back and said:

Z: Now instead of a blue happy face its white.

Me: Guess what you get to do now?!?!?  Clean the whole door.  Have fun dear.

Little twerp.

Monday, May 12, 2014

I thought nothing my children could do would embarrass me.....

After all these years of dealing with saying things in front of people I thought I would never have to say you would think I would never be embarrassed by anyone.  Ah...I used the word never.

We were sitting in the therapy office waiting for Adam. Corbin was sitting across from me and a rather robust woman walked into the office. All of a sudden Corbin ducks his head into his shirt, like a turtle hiding from a predator.

C: I can't see that!

I started looking around wondering what the heck he was talking about. I saw the larger woman in a very bright colored shirt and thought he can't be saying that about her.

Me: Corbin, what are you talking about, knock it off.

C: Its hideous! I just can't look at her.

Thank god this woman either, a. didn't hear him or b. chose to ignore him due to the therapy setting we were in.

Me: Corbin! Not one more word out of  your mouth!

C: Its disgusting!

Me: Unless you want to be cleaning later I suggest you quiet your mouth.  NOW!

He pulled his head out of his shirt and averted his eyes from what he felt was below his viewing pleasures. Thankfully Adam was done less than a minute later and we could escape through the door without further dialogue. Lesson learned...I can still be embarrassed by my children.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Conversations between friends

Two small children in the backyard discussion:

Adam's friend puts her hand above his head and says:

F: Jesus is on your head.

A: What? He is not!

F: Jesus is everywhere.

A: He must have like 18 heads.

F: Yeah, something like that.


Friday, May 2, 2014

You know you are the mother of an Aspie kid when......

I can't think of a punch line for that joke. At speech therapy today I brought Corbin in the room to talk to the teacher about Adam's progression. On the table was a sponge on a stick. It looks like a sucker but is definitely not a sucker. Corbin starts looking at it in his way.

Therapist: This one was in your brothers mouth already.

He just stared at her in that way of "your point is?"

Therapist: Well you have already licked your brother, go ahead and taste it. What do you think it will taste like?

C: Cotton Candy?!?!

Therapist: Well that is what it looks like it will taste like. Why don't you try it.

He licks the sponge. "Mmmm Cotton Candy!"

Therapist: No it does not, try again.


Therapist: So, what does it taste like?

C: It tastes like a sea sponge.

Therapist: Really?

C: No it tastes like a regular sponge.

Okay how do either of you know the difference between a regular sponge and a sea sponge.  Never mind I don't want to know!

You know you have an aspie kid when the speech therapist knows he licks everything.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

One of our favorite friends has arrived!

The boys have been waiting for this day for weeks!  They get to keep one of their best friends for a whole week!  They have been asking "how many more days till he gets here? and how long can he stay?" almost every day.  This morning he arrived.  I received a phone call from his grandfather at 7:30 this morning apologizing for the early morning wake up and when could he bring the child who had been up since 6:30.  The big boys were still asleep as the whole neighborhood has been waiting for his arrival and they decided it would be better if everyone just spent the night so that they could be here when he got here.

He arrived at 8:30 this morning and was greeted by me and the neighbor kid that didn't spend the night.

Me: You my friend get to wake the boys up!

He started running to the front door and bypassed me entirely.

We hear from the bedroom:


Followed by grumbling and an ouch! A few minutes later the kids came out of the room.

F2: I didn't know he was an alarm.

Me: Apparently he's a good one.

Z: Yeah. My first question was, "what's up dude, besides the pain you're in," and then I hit him.

Me: Nice, he buddy want to wake up Adam? I promise he won't hit you.

F: Okay.

He threw a bear at Adam and woke him from a distance. I have a feeling that he won't get too close to any of my boys early in the morning ever again.  Oh well, we just have to teach him to move faster.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Do not lick your brothers feet!

Riding home from Easter at my moms I made the discovery that 60 plus people and an unlimited amount of sugar is really a bad idea for my

Z: Mom! Tell Corbin to stop hitting us!

Me: Corbin stop hitting your brothers or you won't have soda ever again!

A few moment later I hear from the back "stop that!"

Z: Mom, tell him to stop trying to lick us too!  He is trying to lick Adams filthy feet!

Now the feet were completely dark brown and disgusting and I have Diego's mom and sister in the car. Welcome to our family!  We love you!

Me: Corbin!  Do not lick your brothers feet!  Or for that matter any other body part!  No licking people in general! (Is that specific enough, I can only hope!) It will make you sick! Do you want to get sick?

C: No. (giggle, giggle)

Me: NO more sugar for you today!

I was relaying this story to one of the ladies at the therapy place today:

"Oh licking is quite common with boys in general. I had to tell my boys not to lick things."

Me: did you ever have to tell them not to lick dirty feet?

"Um, no I can say I have never uttered the words, do not lick your brothers feet, you have me beat there."

Me: I hate winning these kinds of things.


I was reminded that the conversation took another turn:

Z: Corbin! Get your hands out of my pockets and my pants!


I'm tired and think I block parts of conversations just to protect my sleep little brain.

Monday, April 21, 2014

We have food...

Picking my boys up from their fathers the other day I informed them that we would have to go grocery shopping.  

Zach: Why?  We have food.

Me: No, we do not have food.

Zach: Yeah we do! We have hash browns and cookie dough.

Me:  That is not food.

Zach: Yeah it is we could live off that for weeks.

Me: There is no nutritional value to those things.

Zach: Mom, according to the food charts, a potato is a vegetable and we have eggs(protein), flour (grains), butter (dairy), sugars, and fats.  It is almost a complete balanced meal. 

Me: We are still going shopping but that was a great attempt to get out of it. 

Some days I am more mentally tired than physically.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Thanks for NOT buying the fish.

Tax season is ruining my ability to blog this month. Not that I'm complaining work is good. I will make this a short post as I have to get back to work.

My mom came home from taking the boys to the store. 

A: We bought 6 doughnuts one for everyone in our family and one left over, or I could eat it.

Me: Lovely. Put them away while I go talk with your Grandmother.

He skips off happily imagining he is going to just go eat the doughnut and tell me later I thought that's what you said to do, cause he is tricky that way.

I walked outside to my mother who is unloading her flower purchases from my car to hers.  As she reached the bottom of the pile she reached in a bag and handed me a can of olives. 

Mom: Corbin said he needed olives.

Me: Olives and doughnuts. (Last time I checked no children in this house would eat olives!)

Mom:  Yeah, they needed them both. We looked at the fish.

Me: Thank you for not buying the fish.

Mom: I told him to wait for tax season to be over before we bought any pets.

Me: Why don't you just tell them to wait till the grow up and move out for pets.  I always kill the fish and the rest are too much work.

Mom: We'll wait till after tax season. (She pulled out of my driveway before she could hear my creative retort.)

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Boys and Fighting

I got my boys home today! I love having them home. I know they aren't gone for long but its never easy letting them go.  When I get them home I always ask if they had fun. Sometimes they tell me wonderful stories of adventures they are able to go on with their father, hiking, biking, and playing in the park. This time I got to call their father after they told me about their weekend.

Me: So what did you guys do all weekend?

Z: We went to a pick nick with a bunch of overly perky people after church on Sunday.

Me: Does that mean fake happy people or just people who are too happy and are annoying?

Z: Fake. I think some were just too happy.
(What were you with a bunch of drunks?  Fortunately my filter was in place.)

Me: Okay then what.

Z: Then we went to bible study. We normally do the study but they were talking about Adam and Eve so they told the kids to go outside.

Me: Think they were discussing something like original sin?

Z: Huh?

Me: Sex?

Z: Yeah and I'm glad I didn't have to talk about that. Then we were outside(See how good he has become about changing subjects when he is done with a discussion?) and one of the kids who is about my age started trying to mess with me.

Me: What?

Z: He kept saying I could take you down and beat you at wrestling. Mom, he is a foot shorter than I am and he has no training.

Me: Does he know about your training?  What did you do?

Z: No he doesn't know that I have been trained at Nunez's Murder Fridays and house of pain. He started being stupid so I said I would bet him 10 bucks that he couldn't beat me and he said he didn't have 10 bucks. Then I went inside to get a drink and came outside to see Corbin punching the kid.

Me: Corbin why did you hit him?

C: He pushed me and hurt my feelings.

Me: Zach what did you do.

Z: Corbin was dealing with it.

Me: Wait so you just left Corbin on the kid. Was Corbin hurting him?

Z: From the look of fear on his face and the bruises on his arm I figured he was getting the idea not to mess with Corbin anymore. I took him off after a few minutes.

Me: Nice.  Does your father know this happened?

Z: No.

Me: I'm going to have to tell your father. He needs to know what this kid was doing so when the kids parents call him he has some idea of why the kid has bruises all over his arms and maybe why the parents don't want to attend bible study in the future.  Corbin, you can't just hit people.

C: I didn't he was pushing me.  I just stopped him like we have been taught.

Me: Honey stopping him from pushing you and continuing to beat someone up after they have stopped are two different things.

I have one child who won't fight unless forced or in a ring and two others with quick tempers and quicker fists. I'm hoping by the time the other two become older and better trained like their brother they will have the same self control he does.  Though at the same time if the 13 year old is pushing a 9 year old with special needs he kinda deserves to get his butt kicked so I will say thank god he can and will defend himself.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Emergency Buttons

A few years ago we got my grandparents the life alert buttons. Since then I have received at least one call a month from very concerned helpful people.  Only a few of those calls have been an actual emergency.  I am still grateful the button is there for those one or two times it is an actual emergency and I really do not mind getting those phone calls.  It provides me with entertainment. This month my grandmother received a new unit that my uncle recommended she get.  It has GPS tracking.

Now when my grandmother leaves the house and pushes her button on accident we can see where she is really is and if she is in trouble or not.

We had a test of that today.  I feel sorry for the sweet helpful young man who had to call me and tell me where my grandmother was.

Guy:  We received a call from your grandmothers button and she is not responding.  She is at 1st and D streets.

Me:  She's grocery shopping.

Guy:  But she isn't responding should I send an ambulance?

Me:  She can't hear you.

Guy:  Okay I'll try her again and call you back.

Me:  Thank you.

Mean time I'm calling Mom and Diego to see what they think.  Diego seems to think that since I know where she is that I shouldn't worry.

D:  She's in the grocery store.

Me:  Yeah I'm pretty sure.

D:  If she is hurt there they have already sent out an ambulance.

Me:  Yeah, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't leave an elderly lady lying on the floor. (You never know.)  They said they would call me back.  What do you want to bet she can't hear them?  I am just picturing her walking around the grocery store with them saying Ma'am can you hear us?  With my grandmother looking all around trying to figure out where that noise has come from, God?  Is that you?  Oh the guy is calling me again.

I swap calls to see what is going on.

Guy: Well I still can't get a response, but I did hear announcements. So do you want me to dispatch the ambulance?

Me:  No, I'm pretty sure she's shopping and really doesn't want to deal with an ambulance.

Guy:  So you're sure you don't want an ambulance?

Me:  Yeah I'm sure I want to live another day.  Please do not send an ambulance.

So my entertainment for the day the picture in my own mind of my grandmother looking around to figure out who was talking to her.  Turns out she didn't even hear the guy.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

High Fructose Corn Syrup let downs.

Over the years I have tried to find anything to help my dear sweet Corbin and his emotional and social issues.  Things that most kids would just get over he does not.  I have found that if I eliminated high fructose corn syrup from his diet he is a better human.  Why?  Well a few years ago I received a study from an environmental scientist friend.  That study linked mercury to products like Coke and Hershey's Chocolate and almost all breads.  The only common link between the food products was the High Fructose Corn Syrup.

For the last few months every time I get Corbin back from his dads house we have a melt down.  Some are smaller and easier to deal with than others. When the boys got back from their dads this weekend I was informed by my oldest that they discovered that the pies their dads lady friend had been making for them has high fructose corn syrup in the mix.  (Apparently he had a total meltdown for his father after consuming said products and the oldest did some research.)  I am grateful that they will be no longer feeding him the products.

Today I got to be on the receiving end of one of his more fantastic melt downs. These generally occur as the toxins are starting to leave his body.  He is unable to calm himself and unwilling to listen. Fortunately we were home alone just the two of us as his freak out hit its high point and then something different happened.  About a half hour into the fit I got him to look at me and breathe. I have never been able to stop these fits except with some sort of time out or yelling and even then the fits usually last hours.

Not only has he calmed down, he decided he could re-do the project he wanted to show his teacher, that he left at karate. I think this one turned out better than the first and he is currently singing. I hate high fructose corn syrup let downs.  But I love that my boy is finally learning to work through his emotions. I am now ready for a nap and a Starbucks

Monday, February 17, 2014


I hate mice.  It is a fear I have had since I was young. Cleaning out the rabbit pans when I was younger I had a mouse jump on my chest and run down and jump off my foot.  I'm not sure how many times this happened but enough to give me a great high pitch scream and a fast jumping reflex.

Sitting in my office this afternoon with my dear friend and neighbor I see something black out of the corner of my eye.  I get up and look and decided that I was seeing things.  My dear friend wanted to make sure it wasn't a snake.

We are chatting and all of a sudden I see it again and hear a scurrying and see it slid across my office floor.  I'm pretty sure Diego hasn't ever heard that pitch from me as I scream a profanity and jump into my office chair and my friend hides behind me just in case its a snake.  It was not a snake!!!!!!

I scream for him to come bring me a cat and he looks at me like I have lost my ever loving mind.  I did not! There was a mouse in my office.  My mommy believed me and offered to let me move my office to her house for the rest of tax season. I am going to seriously consider that one.

No one else saw the darn thing so I have called pest control.  I will set traps all over my house.  Again, I HATE MICE!

To my dear friend who suggested next time Diego video tape me in my emotional tare, stuff it!  If he videos that and it goes viral I will get you!

My Grandfather is strong in this boy.

Discussing over lunch all the summer camps and spring camps that my oldest will be able to attend this year. One camp they go to the beach, another they are hiking and swimming and just hanging out, a missions trip, and of course our favorite was the karate nationals tournament in Maryland.

Looking at the brochures for all these camps we started weeding out what he would and would not go to.

Me:  Well, the missions trip isn't over summer its during spring break. It costs $700.00.

Z:  So I would have to pay $700.00 to go somewhere to help with their plumbing?

Me: Hummm..That's what it looks like.

Z:  Really? I'm going to pay to go to New York and do something I can do working for my uncle and make money?

Me: Yeah. Hum, I guess you could do the same kind of missions work with your friends right here and work for your uncle.

Z:  Yeah.

I have a hard time arguing with a child who is practical.

As I relayed this story to my sister in law her first response:

"Oh my!  He sounds like Papa."

I would have to agree he sounds like Pop.  I am looking forward to what this boy will do with his life.  I have no doubt whatever it is he will do it well.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

You may not stab your brother.

Its Tax Season!!!!!!  Woo Hoo!  Which means I am busy working, schooling, and trying to keep the house from falling down around my ears and everyone else's.  The other night I hear screaming from my dear sweet children who are supposed to be getting ready for bed. At first I think the youngest has yet again gone after the middle child in a fit of frustration and antagonism.  He battles between the two quite often. Then he becomes dramatic and everything is someone else's fault.

I walked in the room and started asking questions.

What is going on in here? (I see the middle child has red marks around his neck.)  I look at my youngests sweet cherub face and ask, why are you crying? It looks like you tried to strangle your brother not the other way around.

A:  He pointed a knife at me! (Well.  Hum. Crap.)


A: (Through a mangled voice of unable to vocalize his issue and hiccups from crying) Corbin pointed a knife at me so blakadfkjdfljsa;fjasldkjf.  

Okay you go sit with Diego while I try to figure this out.  A. How did a child get a knife? B. What was he thinking?  C. How again did this happen?

Mr. Corbin what did you do? (As I find the weapon, not really a knife thank god!)

C:  I said I was sorry.

Did you point this at your brother and threaten him?  

C: Yeah but I said I was sorry.  I just wanted him to stop.

Do you know what you did wrong?

C:  Yeah, I did something you don't want me to do.

No, what did you do?

C: Well that's all I have for you. I got nothin else.

You cannot! CANNOT! Use weapons of any kind, play or not, to make people stop! (Flashes of him in orange are coming into my mind.) You cannot hit or kick people to make them stop doing something either.  Got it?

C:  Yeah. No using weapons, fists, or feet to make people stop annoying me.


Okay you have lost this toy and now you can finish getting ready for bed and get in bed.

He sadly walked away perseverating on if he would ever get his prized item returned to him. The answer to that question is probably not but a kid can always hope.  

Back to work.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

I'm pretty sure my sense of humor is stuck at age 13.

Teaching math to Adam the other morning:

Me: Adam, which boy has more balls.

I hear from behind me a snicker.

Z:  You said balls.

BRAT! I totally lost it.  I'm pretty sure my sense of humor is stuck at 13.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Wow. Talking to teens works in strange ways.

My mom always said I would be paid back for all I did as a teenager to make her hair go white.  I blame the white hair on my brother.  He was much worse than I ever was. (giggle)  I know today that the sweet teenager I have in my home was Gods way of giving me the calm before the storm.  Still he is quite funny and quick witted. 

My funny boy came home from a weekend that included 3 sleepovers. One at his dads, one at one of his BFF's, and the other was a 13th birthday party for one of his longest known BFF's.  He came home with stories:

Me:  How was your weekend?

Z:  Good. 

Me:  How was the party?

Z:  Good.  (With a priceless expression, a mix between disgust and shock and amusement) Mom, those kids have potty mouths on them.

Me: Really?  Your sweet little friend is a curse monster?

Z:  No not him it was two of the other kids.  They were obnoxious.  I started falling asleep and one of them said "Lets color on his face" so as he put his hand towards my face I grabbed him and put him on his back. Unfortunately that woke the whole house with his shriek of surprise and pain.

Me:  Really?  Did you have to make him shriek?

Z:  I didn't expect that he would sound like a little girl. 

Me:  Nice.  I heard they were drawing in the sand, maybe some not so nice words.....

Z:  Yeah it was that one kid.  Mom he has a worse potty mouth than the guys at Uncles shop.

Me:  Really?  That takes some talent.

Z:  I know!  It was every other word and then sometimes every word that came out of his mouth was a cuss word.  I almost didn't understand him for the lack of actual content between curse words. Then he kept flipping me off and being completely annoying.

Me:  So what did you do?

Z:  Well, when the kid flipped me off again I told him I was flattered by his offer but I was straight.(Total nonchalance on his face like yeah stupid stop messing with me, you have cuss words, I have their meanings, my mom made me read about them every single time I learned a new word.)

I don't know about you but that was not the response I expected to receive from my 13 year old. I lost it.  I don't care that was funny.

Me: How did that go over?

Z:  They were in stunned silence for a few minutes then they stopped flipping me off.

Priceless. I guess all my talking to him about language usage and making sure he understood what he would be saying has paid off in more than one way.  Not to mention half the population of his friends are terrified to say those words in front of me due to my threat of making them lap book the word,  learn its meaning, and history.  FYI the F word is usually considered to be first attested to around 1475, but it may be considerably older.

Bizarre Behavior

“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.” 
― Bill Cosby

I found this quote today and I would have to agree with Mr. Cosby parenting has made me do some strange things.

Today I have already told Zach to stop playing in the rusty water from the water heater blow out. (I'm pretty sure those new neighbors who haven't met us yet but keep hearing all the insanity over here will never introduce themselves and they tend to run inside their home every time our garage door opens.) I also got him to say that I was annoying him to no end.  My response? "YES!  I have done my job for the day!"

Z: So can you stop now?

Me: Bwa ha ha! No!

Z:  Sigh.

In other events of the day. I just used a paper holder to tell Corbin to finish cleaning the car out after he destroyed it having a monumental temper tantrum for my mother. My mom, instead of making him suffer till he got home as Zach suggested she do, she gave him another happy meal and chocolate. That is the gift of being a grandparent. As his mother I know at 9 he needs a consequence, I make him clean the car out..... My children should worry about becoming parents especially Corbin.  I'm going to spoil any kids they have, you might want to feel a little sorry for his wife.

Yeah...Life is strange and no we aren't normal.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Meet our Porcupine, Spike

Tomorrow is my sweet baby's birthday.  It's a big one he's going from one hand to two.  What did he want for his birthday?  Rocket Shoes and spiky hair.  Rocket Shoes don't exist for small children (though I'm sure Adam will find a way to make them.). We went to the hair dresser.

When he told her what he wanted she warned him that it was going to be very short.  He still wanted it done.  I watched as she sheared my small child down to a little less than an inch of hair.  The expression of excitement on his face was worth every penny I had to pay for the hair cut and gel that he will now need to put in his hair every day.

When he went out to the car the other boys were first shocked and then:

C: Wow!  Hi Spike.

Z: Mom, can we call him that now?

A: No!  My name is Adam!

C: He's a porcupine, named Spike!

A: Stop it!

Z: He kinda is.

A: My hair is now a weapon!  I warn you stop or I will spike you!

Everything becomes a weapon for boys.  Absolutely EVERYTHING!

Introducing.........our Porcupine......

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year! Some of us here are stuck on Christmas.

Took my oldest to his first real New Years Eve Party.  You know one that doesn't end at 9pm and the kids attract the attention of the police at 8:30 at night due to nosy neighbors.  In neighbors defense there were like 30 kids running around. However, if she really wanted to make a case that they were burglars well the running and screaming should not only be an indication they would be very bad burglars but they would probably deter others who would be up to no good.

Standing there watching all the goings on and talking with friends I catch out of the corner of my eye my Corbin walking with one of the dads.

Corbin was looking at him, hes kind of a big guy.  All of a sudden he reaches his hand below the mans belly and pats his hand up and says "Your belly is like Jelly." I think Corbin thought he was Santa. I grabbed the small child and gave him a lecture I hope is not soon to be forgotten.That entailed the phrase "you may not touch peoples belly's or any other body parts".  (While trying not to cough from holding in my laughter.)

From all indications the sweet gentleman either didn't hear the monster or he heard and decided that I handled it and he didn't want to get involved.  Bless him. And bless my friends for laughing with me or at me. We left not too long after that.

Happy New Year.  Here's to knowing there will be many more blogging moments in 2014.