Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Do not lick your brothers feet!

Riding home from Easter at my moms I made the discovery that 60 plus people and an unlimited amount of sugar is really a bad idea for my

Z: Mom! Tell Corbin to stop hitting us!

Me: Corbin stop hitting your brothers or you won't have soda ever again!

A few moment later I hear from the back "stop that!"

Z: Mom, tell him to stop trying to lick us too!  He is trying to lick Adams filthy feet!

Now the feet were completely dark brown and disgusting and I have Diego's mom and sister in the car. Welcome to our family!  We love you!

Me: Corbin!  Do not lick your brothers feet!  Or for that matter any other body part!  No licking people in general! (Is that specific enough, I can only hope!) It will make you sick! Do you want to get sick?

C: No. (giggle, giggle)

Me: NO more sugar for you today!

I was relaying this story to one of the ladies at the therapy place today:

"Oh licking is quite common with boys in general. I had to tell my boys not to lick things."

Me: did you ever have to tell them not to lick dirty feet?

"Um, no I can say I have never uttered the words, do not lick your brothers feet, you have me beat there."

Me: I hate winning these kinds of things.

Amendment:

I was reminded that the conversation took another turn:

Z: Corbin! Get your hands out of my pockets and my pants!

Me: Corbin! DO NOT STICK YOUR HANDS IN YOUR BROTHERS PANTS!!!! OR ANYONE ELSE'S FOR THAT MATTER!

I'm tired and think I block parts of conversations just to protect my sleep little brain.


Monday, April 21, 2014

We have food...

Picking my boys up from their fathers the other day I informed them that we would have to go grocery shopping.  

Zach: Why?  We have food.

Me: No, we do not have food.

Zach: Yeah we do! We have hash browns and cookie dough.

Me:  That is not food.

Zach: Yeah it is we could live off that for weeks.

Me: There is no nutritional value to those things.

Zach: Mom, according to the food charts, a potato is a vegetable and we have eggs(protein), flour (grains), butter (dairy), sugars, and fats.  It is almost a complete balanced meal. 

Me: We are still going shopping but that was a great attempt to get out of it. 

Some days I am more mentally tired than physically.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Thanks for NOT buying the fish.

Tax season is ruining my ability to blog this month. Not that I'm complaining work is good. I will make this a short post as I have to get back to work.

My mom came home from taking the boys to the store. 

A: We bought 6 doughnuts one for everyone in our family and one left over, or I could eat it.

Me: Lovely. Put them away while I go talk with your Grandmother.

He skips off happily imagining he is going to just go eat the doughnut and tell me later I thought that's what you said to do, cause he is tricky that way.

I walked outside to my mother who is unloading her flower purchases from my car to hers.  As she reached the bottom of the pile she reached in a bag and handed me a can of olives. 

Mom: Corbin said he needed olives.

Me: Olives and doughnuts. (Last time I checked no children in this house would eat olives!)

Mom:  Yeah, they needed them both. We looked at the fish.

Me: Thank you for not buying the fish.

Mom: I told him to wait for tax season to be over before we bought any pets.

Me: Why don't you just tell them to wait till the grow up and move out for pets.  I always kill the fish and the rest are too much work.

Mom: We'll wait till after tax season. (She pulled out of my driveway before she could hear my creative retort.)