Tuesday, February 26, 2013

It's NOT DOG!!!!

Having hot dogs for dinner with the boys this was the conversation:

Corbin: What is in the corn dog?

Me: Meat.

Corbin: Dog?

Me: No chicken.

Corbin: Dog tail?

Zach: Want to know whats really in it?

Corbin:  Yes. 

Zach:  Mechanically separated chicken.  Which means chicken parts like the beaks and feet.

Corbin:  So kinda like dog.

Me:  It's NOT DOG!

Corbin: Okay.  But what is in the hot dog?

As I am waving Zach off to describe further pieces of chicken parts. 

Me:  Chicken.

Corbin: Chicken?  So what in the corn dog.

Adam, Zach and I together: CHICKEN!!!!!!

Corbin:  Okay so not dog tail then.

Me: No...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Stop drinking your brothers tears? WHAT????

This was one of those mornings that I would rather forget except for the small details that just cracked me up.

We were doing school work, yes even during tax season we get some work done, and Adam decided he wanted a waffle.  This child is more than capable of putting a frozen waffle in the toaster but he decided to have a moment.  Not a senior moment, a toddler moment I guess I would call it or a youngest child moment.  You know when they just can't do anything for themselves and everything you tell them just gets them angrier.

Instead of asking for help or doing it himself he threw himself behind the couch and started crying. 

At this point Zach looks at me and says:

What's his problem?

I don't know, you saw as much as I did.

We coax Adam out from behind the couch get the waffle situation covered and I ask him:

Why are you crying?

I JUST DON'T KNOW!!!!! (Poor guy, just having a day.)

Now Corbin ventures into the room and looks at Adam:

C:  Are those real tears running down your face?

A: (sniff, hiccup) YES!

Corbin proceeds to put his finger on his brothers cheek and catch a tear. 

C:  Humm, yup, that's a real tear, I'm going to save it for later when I need it.

And he proceeds to stick his finger in his mouth and then he touches another tear and does it again.

Corbin!  Stop drinking your brothers tears!

C:  Okay, they are kinda salty.

God save me.  I laughed. You know that awful look your parents used to send you when you did something wrong?  Yeah that one, I failed at it today.  I did not hold my laughter in while scolding my child.  That's what our parents were doing when they looked so strange and scary. They were holding in their laughter while scolding us at the same time.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

5 Little words you never want to hear with Shampoo in your hair.

There are days I wonder why I don't plan my activities better.  I find that as soon as I get comfortable, the screw up fairy is always there to say "Ha! Gotcha!"

Today is one of my poor planning days.  I planned to got to kickboxing and actually exercise and then come home and take a shower while Adam was in therapy.  Ha! 

What ended up happening?  We ended up chit chatting our way through kickboxing.  Hard to work out when I'm alone and would rather talk business. When I got home, I cleaned the kitchen while Adam was in therapy and ended up not getting to take my shower.  Now the really poor planning on my part was this, I thought that I could take a shower even though I sent my oldest child off for the evening with one of his bff's. 

I'm in the shower and Adam comes in crying.

Whats the matter?

A:  You didn't put syrup on my waffle and cut it up before you got in the shower!

Sorry baby.  Just wait a minute and I'll be out.  I have to get the shampoo out of my hair.

He walks out head down tears streaming down his face.  A minute later he runs back in with a huge smile on his face.

A: Mommy!  Its okay you don't have to hurry now.

A little frightened by the change in attitude I cautiously say "Why is that?"

A:  Corbin cut it up for me. (5 little words you never want to hear while in the shower) He put syrup on them too! (Oh goodie, let me contain my excitement of the mess I will now have to clean.)
Oh boy.  Darn it!  I have shampoo in my hair and I'm thinking of how my kitchen is going to look and wondering if Corbin has any fingers left.  Adam didn't say there was blood so I was hopeful that they both still had all their fingers and I wasn't going to have a Froto case on my hands.

Miraculously, I walked into the kitchen after all was said and done and there wasn't even a plate on the table or one drop of syrup.  The plate wasn't even flooded with syrup.  My boys are growing up.....Then they started playing dinosaurs and had intermixed Phineas and Ferb with Dino Dan into their dialog....Who knew that dinosaurs would say yes, yes, I am too old to be alive.  Okay then.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Eye Burgers?

Adam came up to me after waking up.  He was looking in the mirror and said

Mom, do I have eyes?

Umm Yeah baby you have eyes.

(huge sigh and a roll of the eyes) NO Mom!  Do I have eye stuff in my eyes.

Yeah eyes have eye stuff.

NO!!  Eye burgers( this is the way he said it, this is the way I will write it.)!

(I was running water in the sink when he asked me so I turned around and looked at him with my hands dripping wet)  Come her let me look.

With a little giggle and a shake of his head he looked at me and backed out of the room like I was some kind of predator out for his eye burgers. "No, its okay. I'm good."  Then he ran like demons were chasing him. 

You'd think I had tortured the child removing things from his eyes before.  Silly boy.

Sunday, February 3, 2013



Yes Zach?

Did you see the Niners are winning?

No, I turned the game off.  It seems I'm a bad luck charm for the Niners.  It never fails every time I watch a game they lose.

Good thing you turned it off.


Cause, the more the Niners are winning the more inappropriate the commercials are becoming. 

Oh goodie.

Yeah the Carl's Jr one was disgusting.  The girl was eating a cheeseburger in a bikini and she got on the ground and took off her top.  So inappropriate.

(I will relish this moment and put it here in my blog for future reference when I find my children looking at inappropriate things and thinking that they aren't so bad.  Hee Hee ammunition is always good to have.)