Friday, April 26, 2013

Other things that happened while I was doing that four letter word....WORK

Many things happened towards the end of tax season that I was unable to blog but at least I had my sense of humor still intact when the following happened:

Corbin wandered in from playing outside, looking a little disheveled and had really wide eyes.

Corbin: Mom, I just at a poisonous ant.  Just thought you should know.

Me:  What?  (As I am goggling to see if there are poisonous ants in California, and texting all my friends to see if they knew anything about poisonous ants. Fortunately, I am happy to report, there are no poisonous ants in California.)

Corbin: I just ate a poisonous ant.

Me:  Why do you say that?

Corbin:  Because when I ate it, it was really sour and yucky.

Me:  Then what did you do?

Corbin:  I spit it like this, he proceeded to spit and spit on my floor as I sit there in stunned silence.

Me: Stop spitting.

Corbin:  I was just showing you.

Me:  Okay, why did you eat the ant?

Corbin: Because it was poisonous.

Me:  No really why?

Corbin: Well, I wanted to know what they would taste like.

Me:  Were they delicious?

Corbin:  Mom, I already told you they were poisonous, disgusting and sour.

Me:  So they didn't taste good then?

Corbin:  Uh no mom. 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Random Text Messages I have received over the weekend.

The boys were at their weekly visit to their dads and I received the following message:

Scene: little and middle fighting over a pillow.

Dad: It has been an hour now. Sit still and go to bed!  Why must I have to say it a hundred times? Do you have to be in trouble and loose things?

Corbin: No.

Dad: (agitated) Then just listen!  Period!

Corbin: (calmly) That's an exclamation point.

I love that boy and he has been listening to the grammar lessons I have been giving....Who knew!

Monday, April 22, 2013

We voted that you get to teach sarcasm.

My friend came over the other night to visit.  We were just catching up on each others lives since we live in close proximity and never seem to see each other. She had just asked me how homeschooling was going when my oldest monster walked into the room flopped himself on the couch and started to join our conversation.

Me:  Good, we love doing our co-op every week and next year Corbin gets to go to the big kid house.

Friend:  That's great what are they going to learn there?

Me:  Well I think they are splitting the classes so some are doing Spanish, Shakespeare, and art, others are doing Reading, writing, and something else.  I can't remember.

Zach: Logic.

Me:  Really?  Who is teaching that?

Zach: We don't know yet we just all voted for logic and sarcasm.  We thought you could teach that one.

Me: Logic or Sarcasm?

Zach:  Well both but mostly sarcasm.

I look to my friend for reassurance.

Friend:  Well they do have a point.


Friday, April 19, 2013

Sometimes I have to post others stories.

I received a text from one of my very dear friends who will remain anonymous for this tale.  The text almost made me spit my coffee out even though she warned me not to be drinking coffee.  Here is what I received:

Friend:  You'll appreciate this.  Sit down but don't be drinking anything least you risk shooting it out your nose and across the room.

First thing I heard when I got home last night, from the oldest child:

"Child #2 was sent to bed because she tried to put a princess in her butt. <pause> I feel bad for poor Tiana," (I can only imagine at this point that is the name of the princess that was going to have a wild ride. Hey I don't have girls give me a break.)

Friend:  Apparently, my husband just happened to be walking by the bathroom while child 2 and 3 were bathing and overheard a discussion along these lines.  He hovered near by to see if it would just pass but had to intervene when #2 (no pun intended) leaned over, Tiana in hand, and aimed Tiana on what would have been a dark, dark adventure, yes, up #2's butt. Thank God for my husband! That would have been a doozy for the ER and social workers.

When asked why, she could only say "because" and , frankly, I believe that our overly creative child really meant it.  Just wanted to see what would happen.

Me:  ROFLOL That is too much! I'm just glad that child didn't give Corbin that idea......I can't even contemplate that one.  Yikes!!!!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Another Non Post

Adam just ran into my office:

Adam:  Mom!  What do you call a chicken who crossed the road?

Me:  I don't know. 

Adam:  Dead!

Me:  Really?

Adam:  Yeah he didn't look both ways!  (hysterical laughter from him as he leaves the room.) 

And that is my between client break for the day. 

Monday, April 8, 2013

This really isn't a post, it is a temporary break from insanity.

Tax season is in full swing. I have less than 7 days left!  Of course today is the day I have to get sick.  Whatever!  I hate getting sick!  I am taking a short break to clear my head of all the cold fog and spend some time with my boys.

Tax Season means the boys have a two week break, we will call it an extended spring break or early summer break, from school.  Even thought they are on break I have learned that my children are never not learning.  My oldest child came to complain to me today about another child on his Mine Craft Server not being able to spell, making it difficult for the kids to understand what the child wants.

Me:  You let Adam on the server.  He's 5.

Zach:  Yeah but Adam can spell.

Me:  What?  He can't read yet.

Zach:  Uh mom yes he can. 

Me:  Huh.

Zach:  He can read and the only things he writes on the server are "Hi" and "No".

Me:  He can spell?

Zach:  Yeah, simple words. 

Me:  And he can read?

Adam:  Yes mom!  They ask me for Diamonds, I tell them NO!

Lesson of the day....My 5 year old can read.  Who knew.  Not me.  Guess all that reading to the kids really has paid off.  Now back to my regularly scheduled activates.