Monday, April 30, 2012

To Ice or Not To Ice....That was the question!

Our night time routine consists of taking showers, getting jammies on, brushing teeth, prayers and then if I'm not done a bedtime story.  Last night was no different.  Except.....As Adam was getting out of the shower he slipped and fell on the enclosure portion right between his legs.  I just missed catching him.  Poor guy was screaming and holding his bottom and other portions of his lower extremity's.  So what is a mom to do?  I get him calmed down and ready for bed as best I can with his problem area.   There was a line across his little special area.  (Zach says TMI mom TMI)  I start making phone calls and texting to see what to do. 

I finally got a hold of someone who not only has the same parts as Adam but has a clue as to if I should ice or not.  The answer was this:

"Is it swelling?"

No just a really red line across them.

"Don't ice it then, if it swells you can but don't do it unless it swells or changes color."

Okay......Sorry I just don't have the same equipment.  What do I know. 

After a few minutes I get a text from his dad asking me what is wrong, I called him while he was in a meeting, so I texted him:

Adam fell getting out of the shower and landed on his special parts and butt on the divider.  He slipped and I couldn't catch him.  I was going to apply ice but was advised against that.  So I gave him Tylenol and he's in bed now.  I just wanted to know if I should ice his parts or not.

Don't spit your coffee out.  I don't know theses things.  I don't have those parts!

"Don't ice his parts"

Yeah.  I got that. Thanks.

In the mean time I had sent some of my other friends text messages to get their thoughts on the issue.  The following responses are what I received and you can tell men from women in these responses:

Really?  I didn't know you are not supposed to ice the parts, can't think of a reason why not....

If you were told no ice why question it?  Watch for swelling or color change and you are all good......I am sure he will be fine.  I have split the damn around our spa many times.  Nothing bad.  Just sore and didn't last long.

Poor Adam.  Yeh I would not know what to do either.  Call the advise nurse?

Thank you to all who responded.  You made me feel less like an idiot and saved poor Adam from an icing that I guess would have been uncomfortable. 

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Mom, It is Shakespear.

If I had any delusion that my children don't listen to every single word I say, even when I don't think they are listening, well I'd be wrong.

Zach got a special invitation from his good friend to go with their family to Oregon and the Shakespeare festival in Ashland this summer.

So I make the proper phone calls to make sure that no one has any big plans during that time and start going through the schedule.  As I'm talking to his dad I mention that it really is a great opportunity and for his education!  Everyone is agreed and after I look at the calendar I tell Zach:

You know you  are going to miss piano and a boy scout camping trip.

Well, I really do want to do the piano recital......But this is Shakespeare we are talking about Mom. 

LOL....Okay its also seven days.

Yeah... Its just like when I went last summer for 5 days just two more days and better cell service.

I do not wonder if this is my child.  I know.

Oh boy, Hunger Games Home Edition

When I got home today, I was missing a child.  So I texted my friend to ask if I should pick him up or if she wanted to drop him off. 

I'm home whenever you are done with my little monster.

They're playing the hunger games outside now.  I'll let you know if he survives.


Zach won. 

When the boys got here I had to ask them some questions about the Hungar Games home edition.
How does that work?  Is it like brutal hide and seek?

Cal:  Whoever has the biggest stick wins. (ummm.....bad mind!  BAD!) 

Zach:  If you get touched you're dead, you you have to eat a berry every 5 minutes or you will die of starvation and basically you run for the cornucopia for the sticks piled up and whoever gets the longest stick wins! (ROFLOL)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Cub Scouts is just fodder for things you never thought you would have to say.

Those who know of our travels through cub scouts with our boys will know that I and the boys dad and another friend spent 5 years leading Zachary's huge den of cub scouts.  It was abnormally large at our peak there were 12 boys.  10 finished with their Arrow of Lights.  So when Corbin joined scouts 2 years ago I said I was not doing the whole thing again.  It was a ton of work and well, I'm not sure I could deal with Corbin and extra kids too.

Tonight I got to view Corbin's den and say things that really not in my wildest dreams could I have made up.  You see they were learning about plants, how to grow them, feed them and take care of them.  Generally I kill plants so this is good information for my children to receive.  Corbin's den leader has this worm composter that drains the excess, ummmmm, worm pee for lack of a better term into a little bin and the children were feeding it to the plants in the garden.

Boys, share the worm pee.
Corbin, honey, you can help pour the worm pee.  (seriously did I just say that?)  That was so nice your taking turns with the pee.  Good job boys sharing the worm pee.  I just made my own skin crawl. 

The best part was when Zach leaned over and said "Mom, Corbin isn't the worst of them."  Out of the mouths of babes.  Not that the kids were bad its just nice to see he's not the only high energy child in the bunch. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Reminder to self, don't ask what's next.

Oh its been a very long day in our little household.  One that I would like to put in the burn pile and forget ever happened.  But really is that going to happen?  No.  Why?  Because I am blogging about it!

Our day started out so exciting!  We were heading to the courthouse to watch as our dear friends got to adopt their beautiful baby girl!  We love her!  So as I get my children up and tell them to get dressed "we're going to the adoption!"  Adam appears with something in his mouth.....

Adam, whats in your mouth?  Out of his mouth flying at me with all the spit and thrust he can muster to add to it is a bouncy ball. 

Adam, DON'T put balls in your mouth.  (giggle for the naughtiness that runs through my brain and yours the second you read that)  And DON'T spit balls at me!  (seriously this is how the day is going to be?  Yup.)

Through out our day we dealt with various forms of not listening, gripping about having to actually do some form of education, and throwing things at my head to which my response at one point was (while parked next to a grassy area) to throw the toy out the window.  (They will never question that one again.  :-))

The best parts of our day were the adoption and horseback riding.  (Thank God for hippo therapy!)

To end our day my littlest monster, for that is what they have become by the end of this day, has a problem (look away now if you are squeamish) with his intestine not wanting to stay inside of his body.  To which we respond with a shower and other things before going to the ER.  During the shower my number 2 monster freaked out at what was coming out of number 3 monsters bottom.  So when the intestinal issue corrected itself 15 minutes later number 3 came running out of the bedroom screaming....

Corbin look!!!  Look I all better now!!!!  LOOOOOKKKK!!!! As he is kindly baring his butt and bending over in what can only be a full moon of great proportions for his brother to view that he indeed was all better.  Adam, stop showing your brother your butt!

With that I bid you good night.  Put a fork in me I'm done.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

2am What are you doing????????

I'm a night owl.  Always have been.  I seem to need only 5 to 6 hours of sleep to function.  If I get more, well watch out world and I'm up later the next night.

As I'm fading off to sleep last night which was actually this morning I hear a scraping and banging sound.  Its not constant at first so I roll over and attempt sleep again.  Hey I've seen horror movies the chick who checks out the sound always gets dead.  I realize as the sound is getting more persistent its coming from the boys room.  Crap.  Now I'm wondering which child is up at 2am!  Come on now go to sleep! 

Yes, I finally get up to find out what in the world is scraping down my walls.  I turn on their light and find Corbin scraping the wall to find the outlet for his night light.

Corbin, what are you doing?

My light is broken. 

Awww, I'm sorry.  Go to bed. 

But I need it.

Okay, why did you unplug it?

Because its not working!  (Isn't that what we do when the computers and everything else go wrong turn it off and start over?  Smart boy.)  I plug it back in.  Still not working.  I get the one from the bathroom....its not working either......the hallway one...not working!  Its 2 am I want to sleep!  Ahhh the light turtle, if you haven't seen one then your loss.  The light turtle was a gift from my auntie that the boys use to go to sleep with, it has the constellations and....LIGHT!!!

Ahhh sleep at last.

Easter is just full of things you never thought you'd say.

It was a long fun weekend of Easter! 

My favorite quotes of the weekend were:

Stop drinking the Easter Egg dye!

Don't drink Mommy's wine!

Hey, don't I get a date before I get poked with the claw?

Don't lick the dog. 

I love Easter!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Smells like meatloaf???

Getting ready to go to the park this morning I hear Zach start to gag.  I don't usually want to know what the children are gaging about I just want them to throw up in the appropriate place.  But for my own curiosity's sake I asked what was wrong.

The garage smells like something died!

Me:  Is the cat dead then?

NOOOOOO, he's alive and begging for food!  I think its his butt.

Me:  Nasty.  (I was kind of hoping the cat would be dead, for you animal lovers the cat is 16.  He is disgusting and he has potty issues.  Like he poops all over the garage even with a lovely litter box.)

Corbin then chimes in with "I think it smells like meatloaf.  Disgusting!"

As I am listening to this exchange between my children trying not to laugh my self to the floor of the garage (eeeewwwwwwww!!!)  I text my friend who texts me back with "make sure he's not holding a fork"  EEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

Zach:  No he sells like something died in his butt!  That's even more disgusting!!!!

So begins our day. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

April 17th!!!! Taxes are done!!!!

Tax Season is OVER!!!!!  I know 2 days later than the normal April 15th deadline.  The IRS gave tax payers the gift of two extra days this year due to April 15th landing on a Sunday and a holiday in Washington yesterday.  I have to give many thanks to my head minion for all her help keeping me up late, making me laugh, therapy sessions and all the admin work she did for me.  You are an Angel in my life and I am forever grateful! 

Now that tax season is over I will have more time to post the entertaining things that happen almost everyday, sometimes multiple times a day.  I was informed by a dear friend that my life was like a sitcom, and my other friend said she would watch.  I'm not sure if this is good or bad but it entertains me to make them laugh. 

Monday, April 16, 2012

Alien's Have kidnapped my children and replaced them.

The dentist has been a major issue in our house for years.  Corbin has literally been through at least 6 of them.  Due to his sensitivities to cold, noise, and textures...(see me rolling my eyes) we had a very difficult time finding a dentist that could help him without knocking him out completely.  No one wants to work on a child that screams and bites you.  Even me.  About 3 years ago I found the best dentist in the area.  Dr. Cindy Weideman is the best children's dentist ever!  She was willing to hold Corbin down and get the major work of crowns done without all the things that made it unsafe for him to have the work done.  She has put up with being bitten and screamed at for literally 2 hours straight.  She's a saint. 

Every visit to the dentist has been a battle until the last few months.  I was positive that I would never be able to just sit through him getting any kind of work done.  So when we went to the dentist for his cleaning last month and he opened his mouth and did everything he needed to do including getting 2 sealants, not only was I amazed but the dentist and hygienist were as well.

Last month was nothing compared to this morning.  Corbin needed to have 2 cavities filled and 4 sealants.  I was totally prepared to hold his legs to keep him from kicking the dentist and hygienists.  My sweet little boy turned evil monster by the dentist never appeared.  He laid there helping the dentist with the suction straw the whole time.  What I booked out as two hours on my calendar was one hour with wait time.  He never screamed once.   Dr. Cindy never had to put her earplugs in or even put a jaw holder in his mouth to keep it open.  He held his mouth open by himself the whole time.  There are miracles that occur everyday.  Even the Dr. said that she had never seen anything like him, so polite even when he was so unhappy and so sweet.  I am so proud of him.  He has come so far.  I had to cry when it was all done and so did the hygienist, this is a day we both never thought would come.  God is good!  Aliens, they have taken my son, I think I'll keep the one they left!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Peeling glue is like peeling skin.

It is a beautiful day the sun is shining the birds are singing and my Corbin was up early this morning. 

I was up early too, working in my office, I heard Corbin get up and start his morning routine of getting dressed and playing in his room.  Then silence.  Silence as I have said before is never good especially when Zach isn't home. 

I wonder out of my office to find the source of the silence.  What oh, what do I find?  The smell of glue hits me before I enter the room , I enter the room to see Corbin sitting in the rocking chair peeling his hands.  Hummmm.

Corbin, what are you doing?

Peeling Glue.

Why did you put glue on your hands?

Cause its like peeling skin.  But its really hard to get off. (eewwwww!!!!  The memory comes back of him trying to peel the skin off his fathers foot and I remember having to tell him not to peel other people's skin!)

Okay then.  Could you pick up the mess when you are done please.

Yes mom.  Oh wait I know a better way to get it off my hands!


Yeah!  (as he's running from the room)  I'll wash my hands!

There's my good little problem solver!  And he wasn't peeling someone elses skin.

Monday, April 2, 2012

My finger

Zachary came home today from a sleepover with a purple and swollen finger.  Now its not just any finger oh no it has to be his middle finger.  Does he realize the implications of this, of course not.  Zach doesn't want to miss anything this week so he has spent the last hour telling me his finger is fine, its just jammed mom.  Muuummmm hummmm. 

So Corbin asks for bologna with his lasagna (don't ask me, I stopped trying to figure him out and just accommodate when I can).  (this is totally related trust me I'll get to the point.)  Then he asks to make a sandwich.  That's fine. 

Mom can I have some ranch?  ( I'm grossed out but as long as the 45lb 7 year old eats what do I care?)

Zach: You don't need any ranch.

Me:  Hey be nice to your brother, he can have ranch.

Zach:  That's wrong.

Please can I have the ranch now???

Me:  Zach get your brother the ranch please.

Zach:  Shows me his finger and says ow my finger.  (If he knew what he was doing that was wrong and funny.  Since I don't think he did it on purpose its just funny to me.:-))  Little monster!