Thursday, February 27, 2014

Emergency Buttons

A few years ago we got my grandparents the life alert buttons. Since then I have received at least one call a month from very concerned helpful people.  Only a few of those calls have been an actual emergency.  I am still grateful the button is there for those one or two times it is an actual emergency and I really do not mind getting those phone calls.  It provides me with entertainment. This month my grandmother received a new unit that my uncle recommended she get.  It has GPS tracking.

Now when my grandmother leaves the house and pushes her button on accident we can see where she is really is and if she is in trouble or not.

We had a test of that today.  I feel sorry for the sweet helpful young man who had to call me and tell me where my grandmother was.

Guy:  We received a call from your grandmothers button and she is not responding.  She is at 1st and D streets.

Me:  She's grocery shopping.

Guy:  But she isn't responding should I send an ambulance?

Me:  She can't hear you.

Guy:  Okay I'll try her again and call you back.

Me:  Thank you.

Mean time I'm calling Mom and Diego to see what they think.  Diego seems to think that since I know where she is that I shouldn't worry.

D:  She's in the grocery store.

Me:  Yeah I'm pretty sure.

D:  If she is hurt there they have already sent out an ambulance.

Me:  Yeah, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't leave an elderly lady lying on the floor. (You never know.)  They said they would call me back.  What do you want to bet she can't hear them?  I am just picturing her walking around the grocery store with them saying Ma'am can you hear us?  With my grandmother looking all around trying to figure out where that noise has come from, God?  Is that you?  Oh the guy is calling me again.

I swap calls to see what is going on.

Guy: Well I still can't get a response, but I did hear announcements. So do you want me to dispatch the ambulance?

Me:  No, I'm pretty sure she's shopping and really doesn't want to deal with an ambulance.

Guy:  So you're sure you don't want an ambulance?

Me:  Yeah I'm sure I want to live another day.  Please do not send an ambulance.

So my entertainment for the day the picture in my own mind of my grandmother looking around to figure out who was talking to her.  Turns out she didn't even hear the guy.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

High Fructose Corn Syrup let downs.

Over the years I have tried to find anything to help my dear sweet Corbin and his emotional and social issues.  Things that most kids would just get over he does not.  I have found that if I eliminated high fructose corn syrup from his diet he is a better human.  Why?  Well a few years ago I received a study from an environmental scientist friend.  That study linked mercury to products like Coke and Hershey's Chocolate and almost all breads.  The only common link between the food products was the High Fructose Corn Syrup.

For the last few months every time I get Corbin back from his dads house we have a melt down.  Some are smaller and easier to deal with than others. When the boys got back from their dads this weekend I was informed by my oldest that they discovered that the pies their dads lady friend had been making for them has high fructose corn syrup in the mix.  (Apparently he had a total meltdown for his father after consuming said products and the oldest did some research.)  I am grateful that they will be no longer feeding him the products.

Today I got to be on the receiving end of one of his more fantastic melt downs. These generally occur as the toxins are starting to leave his body.  He is unable to calm himself and unwilling to listen. Fortunately we were home alone just the two of us as his freak out hit its high point and then something different happened.  About a half hour into the fit I got him to look at me and breathe. I have never been able to stop these fits except with some sort of time out or yelling and even then the fits usually last hours.

Not only has he calmed down, he decided he could re-do the project he wanted to show his teacher, that he left at karate. I think this one turned out better than the first and he is currently singing. I hate high fructose corn syrup let downs.  But I love that my boy is finally learning to work through his emotions. I am now ready for a nap and a Starbucks

Monday, February 17, 2014


I hate mice.  It is a fear I have had since I was young. Cleaning out the rabbit pans when I was younger I had a mouse jump on my chest and run down and jump off my foot.  I'm not sure how many times this happened but enough to give me a great high pitch scream and a fast jumping reflex.

Sitting in my office this afternoon with my dear friend and neighbor I see something black out of the corner of my eye.  I get up and look and decided that I was seeing things.  My dear friend wanted to make sure it wasn't a snake.

We are chatting and all of a sudden I see it again and hear a scurrying and see it slid across my office floor.  I'm pretty sure Diego hasn't ever heard that pitch from me as I scream a profanity and jump into my office chair and my friend hides behind me just in case its a snake.  It was not a snake!!!!!!

I scream for him to come bring me a cat and he looks at me like I have lost my ever loving mind.  I did not! There was a mouse in my office.  My mommy believed me and offered to let me move my office to her house for the rest of tax season. I am going to seriously consider that one.

No one else saw the darn thing so I have called pest control.  I will set traps all over my house.  Again, I HATE MICE!

To my dear friend who suggested next time Diego video tape me in my emotional tare, stuff it!  If he videos that and it goes viral I will get you!

My Grandfather is strong in this boy.

Discussing over lunch all the summer camps and spring camps that my oldest will be able to attend this year. One camp they go to the beach, another they are hiking and swimming and just hanging out, a missions trip, and of course our favorite was the karate nationals tournament in Maryland.

Looking at the brochures for all these camps we started weeding out what he would and would not go to.

Me:  Well, the missions trip isn't over summer its during spring break. It costs $700.00.

Z:  So I would have to pay $700.00 to go somewhere to help with their plumbing?

Me: Hummm..That's what it looks like.

Z:  Really? I'm going to pay to go to New York and do something I can do working for my uncle and make money?

Me: Yeah. Hum, I guess you could do the same kind of missions work with your friends right here and work for your uncle.

Z:  Yeah.

I have a hard time arguing with a child who is practical.

As I relayed this story to my sister in law her first response:

"Oh my!  He sounds like Papa."

I would have to agree he sounds like Pop.  I am looking forward to what this boy will do with his life.  I have no doubt whatever it is he will do it well.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

You may not stab your brother.

Its Tax Season!!!!!!  Woo Hoo!  Which means I am busy working, schooling, and trying to keep the house from falling down around my ears and everyone else's.  The other night I hear screaming from my dear sweet children who are supposed to be getting ready for bed. At first I think the youngest has yet again gone after the middle child in a fit of frustration and antagonism.  He battles between the two quite often. Then he becomes dramatic and everything is someone else's fault.

I walked in the room and started asking questions.

What is going on in here? (I see the middle child has red marks around his neck.)  I look at my youngests sweet cherub face and ask, why are you crying? It looks like you tried to strangle your brother not the other way around.

A:  He pointed a knife at me! (Well.  Hum. Crap.)


A: (Through a mangled voice of unable to vocalize his issue and hiccups from crying) Corbin pointed a knife at me so blakadfkjdfljsa;fjasldkjf.  

Okay you go sit with Diego while I try to figure this out.  A. How did a child get a knife? B. What was he thinking?  C. How again did this happen?

Mr. Corbin what did you do? (As I find the weapon, not really a knife thank god!)

C:  I said I was sorry.

Did you point this at your brother and threaten him?  

C: Yeah but I said I was sorry.  I just wanted him to stop.

Do you know what you did wrong?

C:  Yeah, I did something you don't want me to do.

No, what did you do?

C: Well that's all I have for you. I got nothin else.

You cannot! CANNOT! Use weapons of any kind, play or not, to make people stop! (Flashes of him in orange are coming into my mind.) You cannot hit or kick people to make them stop doing something either.  Got it?

C:  Yeah. No using weapons, fists, or feet to make people stop annoying me.


Okay you have lost this toy and now you can finish getting ready for bed and get in bed.

He sadly walked away perseverating on if he would ever get his prized item returned to him. The answer to that question is probably not but a kid can always hope.  

Back to work.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

I'm pretty sure my sense of humor is stuck at age 13.

Teaching math to Adam the other morning:

Me: Adam, which boy has more balls.

I hear from behind me a snicker.

Z:  You said balls.

BRAT! I totally lost it.  I'm pretty sure my sense of humor is stuck at 13.