My Little Pony VS. Hello Kitty....

This afternoon was very quiet.  Two of the three boys went fishing with their dad.  Zach declined fishing for the opportunity of having some time with friends. (What teenager or preteen wants to hang with their parents anyway right?)  I did drag him to lunch with me and made him spend some quality time with me.  I found that my child that now refers to me as the ring leader of the "crazy club". (It started out as the psycho club but we had to discuss the meaning of psycho and he decided I was just crazy not psycho.)  Only the cool moms are in "club crazy".  Or that's what he told me to pacify my for calling me psycho and so that I would still pick up his friend.

The silence in the house was interrupted by screeches and screaming from two teenage boys.  I left my office to investigate and as I enter the living room I see on the TV, Hello Kitty and My Little Pony ripping each other apart. 

Is that really My Little Pony and Hello Kitty?

Boys:  Yeah isn't that cool!  They are ripping each others arms off.

Lovely.

Boy:  Yeah this game is really popular now.

Is that due to the immense Bronie and Pony population that seems to be forming.

Boys:  Yes, yes it is.

Seriously, those people are disturbed. 

Boy:  Zach ripped my arms and legs off and now we can't even fight anymore!  That's just awesome.

I'm going back to my office.  You two are scaring me.

At the dentist there is never a dull moment.

Over the years I have posted many things to face book and even recently to my blog.  The dentist is a major source of anxiety.  Not just my anxiety but Corbin's and the whole dental staff's.  The last few visits to the dentist have been anticlimactic.  Thank God!  No screaming till the dentist has to put in ear plugs and we leave the office in a sopping sweaty mess (no joke he would be drenched in sweat every time we left.) 

Today we went to have another tooth crowned for Mr. C.  Poor guy just can't catch a break.  As we are waiting for the tooth bugs to go to sleep the Assistant asked Corbin what he would like to watch on TV and started flipping through the channels.  When she gets to the Golf Channel, my child says there!  I want to watch golf.  The woman looks at me for clarification and I just shook my head, I don't know what he's doing.  She asked him if he really wanted to watch golf.

C:  Yeah, I watch golf all the time with my mom and my friend.

Really?  Then who's that guy on the screen?

C:  Oh him, that's Tiger Woods, he's the best golfer ever.

The assistant looked at me and I was just trying not to laugh.  Who knew he was actually watching the golf channel.  Yes its on in the house on occasion but I never thought he was paying attention to it let alone learning the names of the players and their rankings.  Some days that boy scares me. Guess I'm glad its the Golf Channel we are watching and not CSI, or something worse that would stick in that little guys brain. 

Castle Crashers....Worse content than Mine Craft

School work goes so much faster when my children are bribed with some sort of time on the Xbox.  This morning we have finished school and the boys have discovered a new game, Castle Crashers.  I have heard all sorts of comments from the boys while playing Mine Craft including:

Eat the zombie flesh.

Stop killing me.

That's what you get for killing too many pigs.

This morning I had new are you kidding me thoughts as I watched them play Castle Crashers.

Me:  Is that cat throwing up hair balls at you guys?

Zach: Yup!  There is bat that poops on us too.

Oh goodie.  This game is the perfect game for little kids into potty humor.

Me: Are you guys fighting over the princess?

Zach: Yeah, see we have to battle all together and then we have to fight each other to get the prize. Then unfortunately you have to kiss the prize.  That's so nasty.

Me: Okay so let me get this straight, after you have been pooped on, and puked on you get to fight for the princess to kiss you. 

Zach: EXACTLY!

I'm sorry that's just wrong.  On so many levels can I go to the wrongness of this game. But to hear all the boys playing the same game together laughing....Priceless. But still wrong. 

Nutritional Dinner?

The other day I was working with a friend and client on her taxes.  It was taking a little longer than usual, mostly because she is my friend and there is lots of catch up talking to be done.  The kids were getting hungry and restless and we weren't done.  This is the point where my friend issues the cooking challenge to her oldest son and mine.

"Boys create a nutritional dinner for the family.  You can only use stuff in the house and you have to make it a balanced meal.  This is your challenge."

Adam looks up at her and says "No doughnuts then, huh."

"No, no doughnuts."

That kid kills me, at 5 he knows that doughnuts are not health food. One point for me! Though I have just been informed by my oldest child that I don't get points for nutritional stuff....Only killing things.  SO that means I get extra points for killing all the sea monkeys that hatched and then promptly died.  Wooo Hooo!  I think I get like 30 for that one!