Wednesday, November 19, 2014

You all need showers!

I picked Zach and his friends up from instructor training tonight. Most Friday's I let my friend pick them up and just keep Zach. She lives closer and well by Friday night I am just tired of driving to karate.

Three sweaty, stinky teenage boys and the two little boys pile in the van and we start to head home. About 5 minutes into the trip I hear the littlest giggling and then the smell begins.

Me: Oh my word! That smell is awful! You will all take showers when we get home.

Kid 1: Um that happens to be Adams feet.

Me: Good lord child put your shoes back on now! It smells like something died in here!

Kid 1: He didn't have his shoes on at all he just took off his socks.

(Adam giggling like  a little fiend) Hee hee!

Me: Adam! Put your socks on! (At this point Zach and I have both rolled our windows down and he is leaning out the window like a dog. To be honest I wished I could too. My eyes were watering.)

Adam: Okay

The smell starts to dissipate. Then it begins again!

Adam! Put your socks on!

Kid 1: Its not Adam its Corbin this time!

Me: Corbin! Put your shoes back on!!!!

C: That was my left foot! HA HA HA HA!

Me: Put that shoe back on and don't take the right one off!!!!

Kid 1: Don't lick your feet.

Me: He is licking his foot! Gross you can get sick that way! Stop licking your feet!!!!

Z: You can't get sick that way.

Me: You have got to be kidding me! Yes you can!!!

Kid 1: Now he's just sniffing his feet!

Me: Stop sniffing your feet. They smell bad put YOUR SHOES ON!!!!!

Kid 1: You don't have to sniff me now! Gross don't do that!

Me: What now?

Kid 1: He just licked his hand and smacked me in the face with it.

Me: Okay Corbin, do not sniff your friends, and do NOT lick your hand and touch peoples faces! You could get them sick!

C: I can....Oh I'm sorry!

Me: Zach! Get your head back in the window its not...Gag that bad!

Here I thought the teenagers smelled bad.

Friday, November 14, 2014

They must be nocturnal.

My mom was discussing her trip to Spain with Corbin and Adam and giving them her schedule.

Mom: The people in Spain wake up so late in the morning! They don't get up till 9:00. They have breakfast then work for a while. Lunch is at 2 in the afternoon and then its sesta time for two hours they take a nap. They get up and work some more then have dinner at 9:00 pm and party till two in the morning! Then they wake up and do it all over again!

C: Wow! They must be nocturnal!

Mom: I think you're right Mr. C! They do kind of act nocturnal!

Love that boy!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Education does not end on the weekend in this house...LOL

The house is filled with some of our favorite characters again! They are playing all sorts of video games that I have no idea how they work. I know that I wouldn't let the little boys play TF2 until this week. Apparently the amount of watching of the game has made them evil masters. Corbin acted as one character and killed all the kids that have been playing for months. I call that a win for my sweet boy who doesn't usually win at this stuff. He even killed Zach bwa ha ha.

All these games and discussions and I keep hearing time to melee from Corbin!

Me: Corbin, do you know what that word means?

Corbin: Yeah to kill people with hand to hand combat!

Me: Really? You sure?

The echo from the other room of all the children that they were sure this was the meaning of the word.

Being the mom that I am I Googled it and started reading the definition to the boys:

Melee, generally refers to disorganized close combat in naval or armor battles fought at abnormally close range with little central control once it starts.

Its a French word that came about in the 1640-50's.

Zach: I don' that definition.

Me: I don't care and I don't like the definition that was the same definition are two separate issues. Nice try at the cover up though.

Whispered by another child in the room: Your mom does know that its the weekend right and schools out.

Z: Yeah she knows she just doesn't care.

Giggle. You got it baby! Know the meaning of the words you are using before you start using them. School is always in session in this house!

Sunday, November 2, 2014

I couldn't bare the thought!

Picked my mom up from the airport the other night. After not hearing from her since she left New York and headed to Spain. I am so glad she is home.

Diego and I played rock, paper, scissors to determine who would get to pick her up and who had to take Zach to karate. I won!

I took the little boys and we drove around the airport for about 25 minutes waiting for her plane to land and for her to get her luggage.

As we were driving her home she was telling us about her trip and all the interesting things she did while there.

C: Did you see any real live cuttlefish Grandmother?

G: Oh yes and they served them to us for (I start slicing my hand across my neck trying to indicate that if she went any further the wrath of Corbin would be on her hands.)

C: Oh Grandmother, (covering his eyes and head) I just can't even bare the idea that someone would eat such a gentle creature. How could you do that?

At this point I'm shaking with laughter and trying to avoid hitting the turtles on the side of the road.

G: Oh we didn't eat them Corbin. My friend and I told them we couldn't eat cuttlefish it would upset my grandson too much.

Under my breath I start teasing my mom, "Were they delicious, nutritious, taste just like chicken?"

Under my mom's breath "Shut up you little brat! We didn't eat them."

Me: Yeah right. (Tears were streaming down my face at this point.)

C: I'm so glad you didn't eat such a gentle flesh eating creature. (I think maybe gentle might be a little off for the fish kingdom.)

I am now wondering what will happen when I get him to eat calamari.....Bwa ha ha.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

He's Evil!

We got to theater early the other day. While the kids were waiting for their class to begin they were interacting with another little boy who had gotten to the theater early too. Adam was reluctant to get involved with the boy because the boys guardian kept telling him to sit down.

Little Boy: (Pointing at Adam and trying to get his attention) He doesn't like me! (giggle) He's evil!!!! (more giggling)

Adam turns to me with an eyebrow raised, a glint in his eyes, and a smirk on his face says "Maybe."

Me: Really?

A: Well not as evil as Zach but I'm working on it.

God save me!

Then of course he picks the "Emperor of Evil" costume for Halloween.
Good thing he's cute.