Glitter=Evil

Part of me just wants to go ahead and get these for my niece just to spread the cheer all year long and maybe for a lifetime.. Glitter is the herpes of art supplies....you never seem to be totally rid of it. 

Just Die Already.

I know it sounds harsh but seriously when someone asks you to pray at church that they die soon.....Well just die already. 

Its daily. This constant want for release from this world.  I have to assume that something in the universe isn't ready to take her out yet.  Or they are just unprepared to deal with her.  She is feisty.

I know my family will miss her when she is gone but when your body is falling apart and you can't remember that you have ever been sick or that your family paid someone to teach you how to use an ipad well I can understand not wanting to be here anymore. 

What did I do that was so bad in my past life?

I was talking with my BFF the other night telling her all about life. We talked about my mom, grandmother, husband, and the ex-husband.

BFF " I have come to the conclusion that you did something in your past life you are now paying for."

Me: "I am pretty sure I'm paid on full."

BFF "Sweetie you must have done something really bad cause your life isn't normal. What happens to you is usually saved for lifetime movies and even then yours has more porn and curse words."

"I think maybe you are paying for 2 life times."

Me: "I must have done something really bad then......I could use a little normal."

BFF "I don't know if you could handle normal. It doesn't have all the flavor your life does...besides how would you make everyone else feel normal if your life was normal?

Bite me. 

Beware f bombs and stalkers ahead

My moms stalker was back zach knocks on my bedroom door. "F@#*!; Mark is back"  watch your mouth
Me knocking at my moms bedroom door "your boyfriend's back"(in a sing song voice)
Mom "f@#$"

Funny I didn't use that word but know it must be generational. Sigh.

Darth Vador soon to be in the house!

I'm dying right now. I was explaining to the kids that D wakes up with a headache every day and that hopefully next week it would get better with the machine he is getting this week. It will help him breathe better but he may look like Darth Vader.

A: D just don't turn evil on me okay? I don't want to be choked out with the force.

C: Your lack of faith disturbs me.

I never know what will appear on my desk....NEVER!!!!!

This evening I came into my office, it's tax season, to find this lovely gem on my desk.

I am not sure what my grandmother is trying to say. I sent this to a couple of friends:

"Is she looking for some action do you think?"

"LOL!!!! OMG!!! Well....is your vagina in a funk? I am a bad friend.....I haven't checked on your vagina lately....."

"Oh dear!!!! Hopefully it's personal and not about you. I mean her old junk just might be rancid. It might be a cry for help. LOL"

I think with everything that has gone on in the last few months I needed that laugh. I am hoping that is why she left it on my desk. Some days that lady just knows when I need a good laugh.