Homeschooling at its finest.

My youngest son came into my office this afternoon very upset. 

"What's wrong?"

"I am reading science and it just doesn't make any sense to me."

"What doesn't make sense?"

"The book says one thing but the rest of the world says something else."

In comes the oldest:

"That's called using facts to slant an argument in the direction you believe it should go regardless of the actual facts. Mom, you never made me do this science."

"You did science."

"Not at his age."

"Crap, you're right."

The conversation went down hill from there to the point where the oldest pulled out the common core standards and asked the youngest all the questions he should be able to answer to pass the standard.

"See he's done with science for the year and it looks like he's done till 8th grade."

There aren't many days that they team up against me, but today they did and won. They used facts and slanted them in their direction. I could have fought it but I know that this will not be the last time that my youngest will learn about animals. I will stick it in with all his other stuff so he won't even notice it's science. Just like I did with the oldest.

Teaching PreAlgebra using Social Distancing....Some Days I Scare Myself

My little guy came into my office this morning for help with math.

Today I was listening to the most recent laws to help employees with the COVID-19 virus. He waited for my conference to end and then fell apart.

"Mom, I just don't get this!" (Tears! Lots of tears come after that.)

What don't you get my love?

"THIS" 30X=.08

"I don't get it at all!!!"

Okay kido lets look at this. So what they want to do since X is too close to 30 people is socially distance those 30 people from X. What do we have to do to get someone who is multiplying an illness?

"We remove them."

"So how do you remove 30 people when they are too close to the illness?"

"We divide them out."

"And then what?"

"Then you get .02 and 2/3 and less people getting sick."

Exactly

Glitter=Evil

Part of me just wants to go ahead and get these for my niece just to spread the cheer all year long and maybe for a lifetime.. Glitter is the herpes of art supplies....you never seem to be totally rid of it. 

Just Die Already.

I know it sounds harsh but seriously when someone asks you to pray at church that they die soon.....Well just die already. 

Its daily. This constant want for release from this world.  I have to assume that something in the universe isn't ready to take her out yet.  Or they are just unprepared to deal with her.  She is feisty.

I know my family will miss her when she is gone but when your body is falling apart and you can't remember that you have ever been sick or that your family paid someone to teach you how to use an ipad well I can understand not wanting to be here anymore. 

What did I do that was so bad in my past life?

I was talking with my BFF the other night telling her all about life. We talked about my mom, grandmother, husband, and the ex-husband.

BFF " I have come to the conclusion that you did something in your past life you are now paying for."

Me: "I am pretty sure I'm paid on full."

BFF "Sweetie you must have done something really bad cause your life isn't normal. What happens to you is usually saved for lifetime movies and even then yours has more porn and curse words."

"I think maybe you are paying for 2 life times."

Me: "I must have done something really bad then......I could use a little normal."

BFF "I don't know if you could handle normal. It doesn't have all the flavor your life does...besides how would you make everyone else feel normal if your life was normal?

Bite me. 

Beware f bombs and stalkers ahead

My moms stalker was back zach knocks on my bedroom door. "F@#*!; Mark is back"  watch your mouth
Me knocking at my moms bedroom door "your boyfriend's back"(in a sing song voice)
Mom "f@#$"

Funny I didn't use that word but know it must be generational. Sigh.

Darth Vador soon to be in the house!

I'm dying right now. I was explaining to the kids that D wakes up with a headache every day and that hopefully next week it would get better with the machine he is getting this week. It will help him breathe better but he may look like Darth Vader.

A: D just don't turn evil on me okay? I don't want to be choked out with the force.

C: Your lack of faith disturbs me.