What did I do that was so bad in my past life?

I was talking with my BFF the other night telling her all about life. We talked about my mom, grandmother, husband, and the ex-husband.

BFF " I have come to the conclusion that you did something in your past life you are now paying for."

Me: "I am pretty sure I'm paid on full."

BFF "Sweetie you must have done something really bad cause your life isn't normal. What happens to you is usually saved for lifetime movies and even then yours has more porn and curse words."

"I think maybe you are paying for 2 life times."

Me: "I must have done something really bad then......I could use a little normal."

BFF "I don't know if you could handle normal. It doesn't have all the flavor your life does...besides how would you make everyone else feel normal if your life was normal?

Bite me.