Out of order and Santa....Sigh.

A warning sign of things to come for the week....I think so.

 

I think I'm going to use this on my Facebook page when I'm having a bad day.  I would like to be out of order too.  Unfortunately that isn't possible being the homeschooling, full time working, mom of three but hey everyone has to have their goals.

 

Then we went to see Santa.  Nothing like taking a 12 year old to see Santa.  Really?  No the four year old was the problem.  Really mom you want me to sit in that strange mans lap?  Okay but I'm not going to like it.....My brother is going to let him know for me too.

 

That's right Corbin! Give him the bird for me would ya? 

I am going to use this as our Christmas card this year if I ever get around to sending some out.  I may just need to photo shop the claw in there instead of the bird though....

Ah and to top the end of the week off here is one of my favorites:

C: Mom no one messes with my friends or me.

Me:  That's right.

A: Mom, you mess with everyone.....

Who's idea was it to teach that child to talk?

 

 



There can be accidents on Wednesdays....Or Thursdays

Sitting in my office with a client the door opens and in pops Corbin's cute little face.

Mom?

Yes love, I'm working right now please ask your brother for help.

Mom, accidents can happen on Wednesdays.

What did you do?

Client: Its Thursday.

Well they can happen on Wednesdays ........or Thursdays.

WHAT DID YOU DO????
He hands me a plastic piece.  What this piece of plastic belongs to I have no idea. Then he runs out and over his shoulder he says again:

Sorry mom, accidents do happen on Wednesdays or Thursdays.

That kid is going to be the end of me someday.  I'm going to die laughing.  Fortunately I have very understanding clients who don't think much about my kids walking in my office while I'm working.  He had her in tears laughing too.  Silly boy.

Broines, Ponies, Santa and the Easter Bunny....Oh my

Sitting here watching movies with two preteens and one teen I get my best education ever. For example tonight I learned that one, the boys still can't say the word sex.  It has to be spelled.  I'll thank god for small favors.  I also learned a little more about Bronies and Ponies.  I'm slightly disturbed.  Really?  My Little Pony fans who are over the age of 13?  Bronies are the boys and Ponies are the girls.  Seriously, come on now there has to be better cartoons you could watch.  Really I believe Bevis and Butthead might be slightly more tolerable to watching ponies run around.  How about the other good old stand by Ren and Stimpy or the Animaniacs anything other than that show if you have a choice.

My next lesson of the evening.....Santa and the Easter Bunny.  Do they exist? 

Child 1: Really,"Mommy why can't I get the nice toys the other kids get?  Cause Santa only brings the nice toys to the rich kids."  (I have no words.  He had a point for sure.)  Or how about this one..."Mommy, why are there Santa's in every single mall?" 

Me:  Oh that one I can explain, elves. Oh and I can prove there is a Santa.
 
Child 1 rolls his eyes at me and children 2 and three chime in.

Zach: Yeah well I still believe in Santa.  But the Easter Bunny...That's my grandmother, she's the crazy Easter Bunny.

Children 1 and 2:  Yeah she is and she is the Easter Bunny.

Child 2: Ms. Flamik, Ms. Flamik, you know what?  Know What?

What?

Child 2: You know how I know there is a Santa?

How is that dear?

Child 2: Cause I know my mom would never spend $120 on me.  And my dad? He thinks I need to grow out of Lego's already so he wouldn't buy them for me.  So since I get them for Christmas there has to be a Santa Clause.

At this point I lost it and told them to be quiet and watch their movie.  Apparently these 3 want to talk their entire way through the movie.  I'm all for snarkie comments during a movie but really a conversation that has nothing to do with the movie is not my thing.

She's Old and Cranky

The other day we were working on language arts...yes I actually sometimes make my children do worksheets.  ;-)  Corbin was asked to write about something old....

Me: Corbin, what is something old?

C:  Grandmother Cacu. 

Me:  Maybe we should think of something else that is old.

C:  No, she says she is ancient and I think that's pretty much as old as you can get. (I can't control my laughter at this point so I told him to go ahead and write his sentence.)

 He wrote....Cacu is very old.

This morning I have extra children in my house (nothing new there) my mom had come over to take them to their classes since my back is still out and well.....I want to go see the new Twilight movie on $5.00 day so I don't have to pay 10.75 for the leather seats and a bad movie.  The conversation went like this:

Mom: Boys get your shoes on!

Boys:  Grumble Grumble, yeah we're working on it.

Me:  Stop messing with your grandmother....she's old and cranky this morning.

C:  Yeah she's old...

Mom:  Corbin, did you say I was old?

C:  No, CRANKY!

Z: You tell us all the time that you are old...What did you expect him to say?

C:  You're cranky and very old.

Mom:  You little brat!  Get in the car!

F:  Ms. Flamik....does having hot flashes everyday mean you are old? (I almost spit my coffee out.  I actually had to go to the sink before I choked on it.) I mean really that's what my mom says.

Me:  Get your shoes on and go to class!  All of you!

Really it is her own fault for telling the boys she's old....Hee Hee.

Kill the baby?

Sitting in the living room, the boys dad and I were discussing plans for the upcoming week.  From the front room we hear Zach and friend skyping with another friend......

F: Kill the Baby!!!
Z: I'm trying!  He keeps getting away!
SF: Hurry up and kill him!
F:  Yeah Kill the baby!

The boys dad looks to the room and says:

What in the world are you guys doing?  Did I just hear you say kill the baby?  What are you playing??

F:  Yeah I said kill the baby Mr. Flamik.
D: Why?
F: Oh cause that's the guys call sign baby something on Mine Craft.
Z:  Yeah dad, we are killing a guy who is creeping on us in the Hunger Games version of Mine Craft. 
F:  Yeah we aren't killing real baby's...That would be wrong, unless they were creepers, then we would totally kill them.
D:  Okay then..(shaking his head and chuckling)
Me:  I am so blogging this.
D:  I figured.....

Careful what you pray for.....

One of my BFF's has been hoping and praying to be blessed with another child.  She loves children is fantastic with them and is such a great mommy. 

My children and I decided that she didn't just need one more baby we thought two would be quite lovely. So for the past almost year we have been praying every single night that Auntie would have twins. (I have decided I will not make this prayer for others in the future....)

Yesterday, she got the news that they were going to be blessed with two little girls.....I haven't heard from her since except a text to say:

Definitely have our hands full!
Me: Guess this puts a damper on going to Vegas...LOL
Oh a wee bit!
Me: Darn!
Got to go can't talk anymore!
Me:  And it begins.  LOL

As I was sitting at home in the silence, with my back out, and my children at their fathers I realized that I had done a very mean thing to my friend.....I wished lots of babies upon her....I wonder if the thought that went through my head at that moment wasn't even worse....I bet now she'll get pregnant....With twins.  Guess we should be careful of what we pray for.....LOL

Plungers are not toys!!!!

Talking to my mother on the phone this morning getting ready to have 10 plus kids in my house for the afternoon, I happen to look in on my child who has left the bathroom door completely open....We are working on this I promise.

No mom I don't have the kids for.......Corbin! Do not play with the plunger while sitting on the toilet!

Mom:  I'll let you go now.  (As she is giggling and trying not to let me know it!)

Why do these things always happen when I'm on the phone?  Sigh.  Hey at least I got the warning letter first.